One of those I've loved along the way...

This past week has been a tough week for me.  I got a call last Monday (Valentine's Day) from my dad telling me that my grandmother had passed away.  She had been sick for over a year with COPD, and I know she was in pain.  We tried to prepare for when she would leave us, but it's impossible to really be ready for that.  We went to Ohio to be with family and for the funeral.  Even with all the pain, the visit was a good one.  I love my family, so it was great to see them all.  We were able to create happy memories even out of the pain.  My grandma was the most amazing woman (and I know everyone says that, but she really was).  She was incredibly giving and compassionate, and she wanted the best for everyone she loved and for strangers.  I hope that one day I can be half the woman that she was.  I am so glad to have known her and to have her influence in my life.  Her death is a great loss, but I know she's happy to be reunited with her son, and they are both watching over us all.


I have also had a hard week of rejections from schools.  It's getting easier with each one.  I have 1 interview on Friday for a PsyD program at Indiana State, but I have been rejected from 8 schools now, I believe.  One of those being UMSL (my only option of staying in St. Louis AND go to grad school).  So now, I am naturally re-evaluating whether I want to go to grad school.  It used to make perfect sense to leave STL to go wherever I get in, and it's probably all the rejections that I've gotten, but suddenly I am questioning whether I want to leave, even if I get into school.  I like STL.  I like being close to my family.  I enjoy being here with Dan, and I want to move into his new house with him.  I thought I wanted to get my degree right away, but now I am enjoying not being in school.


It will be a tough choice, but maybe I won't have to make the choice.  It's possible (very possible) that I will not get into any graduate schools, so then the decision will be made.  If I do have to decide, I have no idea what I'll do.  Guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there.