baby fever.

I have 15 pages to add to my research paper and another 5 page assignment for another class.

So naturally I decided to write a blog post instead.

I have a serious case of baby fever.  Dan and I got married 4 months ago tomorrow, and I know for a lot of people this would be "too soon."  But Dan and I have lived together for over 2 years now.  We were together 8.5 years before we tied the knot.

So if I wasn't in school, I would be so ready!  I think Dan would be, too.  If we both had jobs, we would definitely be financially stable enough to support a little one, and for me, that is a priority.

I know that we have to wait.  And we are.  There is no way I could give a child all that he/she needs with my school obligations.  I feel bad enough that I am neglecting my husband, animals, and friends.  Clearly there isn't time for a child that would require so much more than I already give of myself.

Knowing those facts doesn't make it any easier, though.

I see pictures of my sweet nieces, friends' babies, and pregnant bellies, and I get a little jealous.  I know that I will have my turn, and I know that in the long run, this is what is best, but it's still hard.

Next month, I will be 25.  That is by no means old, but it still feels old!  Maybe that is part of this.  A "crisis."  ;)  

All I know is, I have to GET OVER IT!  Otherwise, the next 2 years will be ridiculously long!  I just need more baby fixes of other peoples' kids...  :)

Happy Fall Y'all!

It's Monday again.  I am not really sure how that keeps happening so quickly, but alas, here we are!

I had a FABULOUS weekend, though, so that helps!  We left Friday afternoon to head back to BloNo for the weekend.  Friday night, I surprised my friend at dinner.  For the past 5 months, she has been through boot camp and A school for the Navy.  Before heading to San Diego to begin her orders, she came back home.  It was great to see her in uniform and so happy.  I am so proud of the decisions she has made for herself and the success she is having!

Saturday Dan and I heading to our friends' house for Kel's birthday.  Dan and the guys went paint balling, while I hung out with Sara, some of her family, and adorable Cecelia.  Cecelia came up to me multiple times and held up her hands for me to pick her up and cuddle.  It made my heart so happy!  I also always enjoy catching up with Sara.  We never run out of things to talk about ;)

Saturday evening, we had Avanti's at my parents' house.  I can never get enough Avanti's when we go home.  Best. Bread. Ever. !!!  We also had a fire, which I can never complain about.  It was nice to just relax with the hubby, my daddy, and Joshy (my baby brother!)

Sunday was a fun day, too!  We went shooting!  Josh has 4 guns, so we spent quite a bit of time out on a family friend's property.  It was wonderful to spend that quality time with my brother!

Later in the day, I went to catch up more thoroughly with my navy girl friend!  There is something about starbucks and old friends that makes me feel so content!  We had dinner with Dan's mom and nana before driving back to the STL.

As soon as we got home, I put on pjs and was asleep before Dan even had the dogs inside.  I am an old lady.

a week in the life.

As a full-time graduate student, I get a lot of inquisitive stares/questioning looks when I say something about being busy.  I get it.  Many of my friends did not work in undergrad, so they can look back on those years and remember how amazing it is to only HAVE to do something for a few hours a day.  Maybe 2 or 3 classes, then they would spend some time in the library.  Then hangout.  Don't get me wrong, I worked throughout undergrad ... for awhile, I worked 2 jobs while taking a full caseload, and even I look back on that time and think about how nice the free time was ;)

Then I took a year and a half off and worked full time.  I did not miss school all that much.  I LOVED coming home and vegging out without HAVING to read something or HAVING to write a paper.  I am remembering it fondly and wondering why I have put myself in my current hell.  haha.  (Then I remember that though I enjoyed my job most days, it wasn't nearly what I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing...)

So here I am.  A full-time graduate student in school psychology.  What is that?  Well, it's a changing field, but I can give you a quick snip-it.  Overall, we help to identify children that cannot access the curriculum due to different disabilities, and we help to create accommodations so that they can be successful in school.

I can tell you first hand that going to school for this is NOT a walk in the park.  I am BUSY, people!  Here is a glimpse of how I spend a typical week.

Monday - I work in our clinic office from 9-4.  This is my assistantship.  It provides me with free tuition, and I get a small monthly stipend.  Because of this, I do not have a "real job" outside of school...  But it is a job that takes up a good chunk of my time.  I stick around campus until our kickboxing class at 6pm!

Tuesday - We have class from 9:30-12:20.  This class requires an insane amount of reading (books, empirical articles, etc), as well as a large project outside of class that involves identifying a student with behavioral problems and working with their teacher and parents to develop a plan to reduce problem behaviors and increase more desirable behaviors.  This project will involve at least 4 meetings, data collection, intervention implementation, etc.  It's a wonderful learning opportunity, but it's a lot.  Typically I can get home pretty quickly after class and do an early afternoon run :)

Wednesday - Clinic from 9-4 -- this is usually a rest day for me.

Thursday - Class from 9:30-12:20.  This is my psychotherapy class.  We are learning multiple therapy theories, and our large project includes doing therapy with a child at practicum for at least 12 sessions throughout this semester.  I am getting started on that Friday.  Anxiety provoking, to say the least!  I then work in our clinic until 4.  Occasionally we will go to a workout class on Thursdays, or I go home and do circuits.

Friday - Practicum (where I am placed at a school doing assessments, attending meetings, completing those projects that I mentioned) from 8:30-3:30. -- this is another rest day, typically

So those are the times I am REQUIRED to be somewhere.  On top of those times, I am working endlessly on my MS research project and reading A LOT for class.

Beginning next week, my schedule will get more insane, as part of my assistantship involves grading the cognitive assessments that the first years are learning to give.  I will watch all 10 students' tapes of their administration, and it will roughly take 30 hours/week for the next 10 weeks.

I see a lot less sleep in my future ;)  Which is sad for Dan because I am a grumpy bear without 7-9hrs!

But really - I should say.  I am incredibly fortunate to be in school right now.  I complain about it endlessly, but I am learning how to do my dream job.  Who doesn't want to work a typical school schedule?!  Summers off?!  SIGN ME UP! 

monday blues.

Mondays are unnecessarily hard.  I don't even sleep in (usually) on the weekends, so getting up shouldn't be more difficult...but it is.  It is cruel.  I was extra excited about my coffee this morning, that's for sure.

In related news.  I should have made warm coffee this morning.  brrr!  I have been obsessed with my iced coffee kcups, but something warm would have been better on this wonderfully Fall morning!

Overall, I had a pretty great weekend!  Friday night, we had a girls night - dinner and drinks, followed by doing some crafting.  My friend is getting married in June, and for her centerpieces, she is wrapping wine/beer bottles in yarn.  It sounds easier than it is, I promise.  Or, I am just not crafty at all...and that is a possibility.  Either way, it was a great night to just relax and enjoy each others' company!  I can never complain about that.

Saturday I spent the entire day reading for class.  I even stayed up late (1am) to finish reading so that I didn't have to worry about it at all on Sunday.  When I finished, I realized that I read one of the wrong chapters.  I had the privilege of reading the correct chapter Sunday, so that was very exciting...

Dan spent his Saturday building me a "cube storage" deal for the closet.  Target didn't have any 4-cube storage things in the store, and their website wanted to charge me over $30 to ship one.  Um.  Nothankyou.  So Mr. Handyman said "I can build one of those, no problem!"  I have to admit, I was pretty surprised at how well it actually came together, painted an all!  He even added an extra shelf to the top for some shoes.  I need more clothes storage, so as soon as my fabric drawers (that will fit perfectly!) come in, I am going to do some major organizing, and I am stoked!

Sunday we went to the Cardinals game!  It was ACS day at the ballpark, so it seemed like a great reason to go!  We were able to walk on the field - well the dirt...I attempted to walk on the grass, made it about 3 steps and was promptly yelled at.  Still pretty cool!  

on the field!

It was a great game, and I don't even like baseball.  I guess sports are typically better in person, but I feel like this may have been my favorite Cardinals experience.  We had pretty great seats, we saw a few home runs.  The cards did a great job of hitting doubles/singles to bring runners in.  It was a lot of fun!

We ended the evening with football (oh. btw.  all of my teams won this weekend!  Bama, Notre Dame (yep, I know it's weird I cheer for both...last year's championship was hard), AND the Raiders).  After football, we watched the latest Breaking Bad episode.  I hate Walt.

Happy Monday.  Hope you enjoy your last week of summer!  The calendar will agree that fall is here next week!  Woo hoo!

my run

Quick-ish funny story before I tell you all about my run last night.

My lovely husband of 3.5 months does not like wearing his wedding ring because "it is going to get all scratched up!"  Me telling him that it doesn't matter, and in 50 years it should look worn, has yet to change his mind.  He takes it off as soon as he gets home from work.  When it is time for us to leave, either for a weekend home, the store, dinner, whatever, I just stand there and stare at him until he goes "oh shoot!" and runs to the bathroom to get his ring.  Homeboy wanted one of the more expensive choices.  He better freaking wear it!

Well, Monday morning I saw it sitting in our bathroom after he left for work, so I hid it.  Maybe the fear of "losing it" would make him realize it should stay on his hand!  He didn't say anything to me about it Monday night, but yesterday morning he tried to casually bring it up, but I could tell he was nervous when he said "um...any chance you have seen my wedding ring?"  I just smiled, and he knew that I had.  He had apparently been looking all over in places he could have left it.  I brought it to him, and he put it on, and when I got home last night, it was still on!  Hopefully this is progress ;)

Monday night I had kickboxing, and I was still feeling it a tad bit last night, so I thought I would go downstairs and run a mile on the treadmill.  As soon as I got on the thing, though, I realized a mile is kind of lame when I KNOW I can go further, so I decided to do some intervals.  I walked 2 min, which always gets me up to .1 miles, and that's how I typically warm up.  Then I turned it up to 5.0 for a min, then 6.0 for 2 min, 7.0 for a min, 6.0 for 2 min, 5.0 for a min, and 3.5 for a min....then back up to 5.0 to repeat.  I went through this 4 times.

The first round, my calves were cramping up.  I thought about stopping because they felt so tight, but when I got to my 3.5 walk, they felt slightly better, so I went on to my second round.  My calves were still tight, and then I got a side cramp.  So far it was a pretty lame run.  Third round my calves felt OK, but I still had the side cramp and then another cramp right under my left lung.  Originally I was going to stop there, but I thought I could make myself go 4 rounds, so I did.  Besides the fact that I was completely out of breath, my body stopped hurting on round 4!

I made it a total of 3 miles, and by my calculation, I probably only walked about .3 miles of that.  I have definitely  never run 2.7 miles before, so it is a little bit of progress!  I am still working toward my goal of being able to run a 5k, so hopefully that will happen eventually!  With cooler weather coming, I am going to attempt to run outside more, which is going to be a lot harder for me, but I think the payoff will be better!

accountability

Yesterday, my friend and I went to the kickboxing workout class on campus.  We went weekly in the spring, so we were happy to see that it fit into our schedule this semester.  Kickboxing is so much fun!  We wear gloves and mitts and practice combinations of punches and kicks.  Not only is it a great way to get out weekly frustrations, but it is an awesome workout.  I am feeling it this morning!

I love having someone that I know wants to workout with me at least one day a week.  The accountability helps a lot.  Did I really want to stick around campus until a 6pm class.  No.  Would I had I known no one would be there to notice?   Absolutely not.  It makes me grateful that she was depending on me to go as much as I was depending on her.

Accountability is a great thing.  There are a few friends I follow on My Fitness Pal, and typically, that helps keep me accountable, as well.  They can see what I am eating.  They can see if I am over my calorie goal.  It doesn't always help, but usually it does.  It is also nice that they leave encouraging thoughts, and that I can do the same!

We also text about our workouts.  Holding each other accountable encourages us both.  You totally don't want to be the person that hasn't worked out AT ALL when your friend just ran a 5k...

Sometimes I think it would be nice if Dan could be my accountability partner - I mean, he lives here...  But I realize that would actually probably suck a lot.  It just doesn't work for us.  We enjoy randomly playing tennis or going for a run, but if I had to workout with Mr. "Oh!  I did 8 pullups and 20 pushups today!" daily, I would freak.  1 - how in the world can you just jump up and do 8 pullups, you NEVER workout!  2 - that is not even a workout!  jerk! ;)  Must be nice to have the metabolism of a young male!

I encourage you to take advantage of others ;)  for accountability purposes!  Find someone to workout with once a week, text your friends!  Encourage each other to be better versions of yourselves! 

the weekend

Hello, all!  I apologize for my rant in my previous post.  Pet peeves, you know.  Can't we just all be cordial to each other?!

my big brother sent this to me on facebook ;)
I would say it is completely accurate!

Anyway- the weekend is over.  It seemed to fly by, as it typically does.  Two days just aren't enough.

On Friday afternoon, I made two peach cobblers.  Yep.  Because I was given the task to make one for my grandpa's birthday, so I wanted to make 1.5.  I wanted .5 to keep here because I can't make peach cobbler and give ALL of it away.  So as I was measuring out stuff for my .5, I realized I put almost double the amount of milk in the first one as I was supposed to.  dangit.  It was heart breaking.  I continued to bake it, and Dan says it tastes fine, but no...it doesn't.  The second one was a success, but I just had a tiny bit at the party.  Such a let down ;)

Friday night, Dan and I went to dinner at Chilis.  They have skillet cookies now!  What?!  I was SO excited.  You better believe I ate more than my fair half ;) I fell asleep almost immediately after getting home.  Guess that's what a fairly large margarita and too much skillet cookie will do to a lady!

Saturday was my grandpa's 86th birthday.  I woke up and got my sweat on for a bit before we drove over 2 hours to good ol' Lincoln for his par-tay.  I use the term loosely.  But.  There was good food, and I got to cuddle my precious niece, who is 2 months old!  I can't believe it.  She is just too cute for words.  My other adorable niece was also there, but now that she is 6, she wanted to be outside running around with all the bigger kids.  They grow so fast!

Brenna Bug has Uncle Joshy wrapped around her little fingers ;)

I am pretty obsessed with her, too!

Sunday was full of reading, reading, reading for class.  Oh joy!  I did manage to sneak in a fun little craft to keep me from going insane.  I also painted my toes - light pink.  I am crazy, I tell you.  I am so excited it is almost Fall, but as I as choosing a color, I was nostalgic about it being the last time I would use a summer-y color.  I just can't make up my mind, apparently!  Oh.  Also, we ate like crap all day yesterday, so there's that :)

Pink toes!

Spray painted wine bottles to look like candy corn!
In a few weeks, these suckers will be on my mantel with my "BOO"
pumpkins!  Can't wait!

 In summary, I consumed WAY too many delicious calories and only worked out once this weekend.  Oops.  But today, kickboxing starts back up on campus, so my friend and I are going.  It's our favorite class, and it is going to kick my ass.  I can't wait!

Happy Monday!

a rant.

School is in full swing - woo.  Let's just say, I am happy it is the weekend and that I don't have any large projects due next week.

Now onto my rant - 

Part of my schooling is being a practicum student for a local school district.  It gives us hands on school psych experience that the classroom just doesn't cover.  My supervisor at practicum this semester is great!  She also has me working with another school psych that is also freaking fabulous.  Today, though, they introduced me to another school psych in the department.  Her first words to me were "What are you, all of 12 years old?"  Not "Hello, it's nice to meet you!"

Yes, I am only 5'00 in these heels I am wearing.  Yes, I have a young-looking face.  BUT IN WHAT WORLD IS THAT NOT RUDE?!  I just don't get why people, who should have social skills, feel the need to point it out.  Making a comment about being "so little" doesn't really bother me, but at least freaking say hello before you have a smart-ass comment.  Only my friends and family can get away with that stuff, lady!

This has been a reoccurring thing throughout my life.  When I went to get my license they asked me how old I was ... you are kidding, right?  Why in the hell do you think I am here?!

How do people think that is OK?  The only person concerned about my age should be the one serving me alcohol.  thankyouverymuch.

I like to think I am a pretty confident person.  I am awesome, and all...but we all have some insecurities.  I am completely OK with being 4'10 barefoot.  When I stopped growing 11 years ago, I figured I should probably learn to accept it, and I have, in general ... but jeez, I don't need a stranger to make some rude comment about how young I look.  Who raised these people?!

The worst part is...this woman is a school psychologist.  That works with children with special needs.  I can only pray she has a better filter around them.

Let's not be rude to strangers!  Do me a favor...always try to think before you say something that somebody could find offensive.

end rant.

3 day weekends should be mandatory!

I know a lot of people say that -- but really.  I thrive on the 4 days on, 3 days off schedule.  When I worked full time, we did 4 -10 hour days, and it was fabulous!  My first semester of grad school, I always had Fridays off (granted, I was still working part-time), but it really is best-case scenario for me.  I woke up bright eyed (after barely sleeping...I'll get to that), ready to go -- I even left early so I could drive completely out of my way for a Pumpkin Spice Latte.  Let me tell you...it was TOTALLY worth it!  It tasted better than I remembered...which is saying A LOT because I love those things, but I guess 9 months (give or take) without something really makes you forget just how wonderful it is.  So glad it exceeded my expectations.  But anyway- as I ramble.  I am so grateful we had yesterday off.  When it is time for me to find a big girl job, maybe I can find a school that is in session 4 days a week instead of 5 ;)  (because clearly summers off just isn't enough!  give me an inch....)

We had a pretty uneventful weekend.  I got some shopping and crafts done, while Dan built us new stairs for the deck.  There is this research project/paper that I should have really made some headway on...but clearly I am a procrastinator.  Dangit.

Last night the weather was beautiful, so we took the pups for a walk (since I was lame and procrastinated working out ALL day).  We might be bad "parents," as this is not a regular thing in our house....but they have a huge backyard to run around in, and we play fetch with them often.  Plus they have each other.  I promise, they get a lot of exercise and are constantly getting their energy out!  But we went.  It was about a 2 mile walk, and when I got home, I realized my flip flops - that I have been wearing ALL summer - rubbed the tops of my feet raw.  Same spot on both feet.  What. The. Heck.  Not sure how shoes I have literally worn every day have decided that now is the time to SUCK, but I was not pleased.  My feet hurt so bad, I couldn't sleep.  True story.  They were BURNING every time they touched anything, and I can't sleep on my back without a cover....so basically, they were constantly touching something.  I got up at one point and put ointment on them, and that seemed to help for a bit, but I had to get back up again later and try band-aids.  I felt like such a pansy.  haha.  I was finally able to get some sleep, though.  Shoes were not fun this morning, that's for sure!

The PSL helped.  A lot.  And a pretty yellow leaf fell on my windshield while waiting for said PSL - so things are looking up, people ;)

FALL IS HERE!

Well, maybe not according to the calendar (or weather), but what do they know?  It is SEPTEMBER!  The first of the -BER months -- the BEST time of the year!  Lovely things are happening, people!  I found peppermint mocha creamer at the store!  WOOT WOOT!  Don't get me wrong - this gal cannot wait for all things fall, so I am not trying to rush to winter (in fact, snow is the worst thing. ever.), but peppermint mocha...come on!

I look forward to so many Fall things - 

- I cannot wait for a pumpkin spice latte.  Starbucks is totally out of the way, but I may  make a swing by when I get to eville on Tuesday to grab a lovely PSL before work :)

- Eckerts.  If you are from the STL area, you know.  Eckerts is the best place on earth (after Disney World).  I can't even dream up apple cider as good as they make it at Eckerts!  And the wine!  And the piglet races.  And the pumpkin launches.  And picking apples and pumpkins.  It is a WONDERFUL way to spend an afternoon!

- bonfires!  ASAP, weather, ASAP!

-  sweatshirts - see above.

- seeing all of the leaves change

- watching football

- my birthday. (yep, I went there.)

- pumpkin bread.

- and the list goes on.

I have been getting in the spirit.  A few weeks ago, I put out my fall wreath that I made last year.  LOVE that thing.  It is super adorable.  It is made of tulle, and I felt incredibly craft when I made it.  Never mind it was super easy...I don't need that negativity in my life.  It is adorable, and it encouraged me to make beautiful Christmas wreaths as presents last year!

awesome?  yep!

Since today is Sept 1, I felt OK about getting out more of our Fall decor.  There is still more to grab, but I am pretty excited about what I got out / may have bought today ;)

adorably cute fall decor from Michaels!
I just can't get enough of their sales!  30% off AND I had a 20% off my purchase coupon!

The pumpkins were also on sale :)
I have to wait awhile to put them out, but I was proud of my
stencil painting ability!

This is NOT decor - you are observant!
This is a pumpkin pie martini, and it is Fall in a glass.
Rachel Ray's recipe.  So good!

So that is where we are at the Cleinmarks!  Dan put in new steps on our deck this weekend.  Seems trivial, but we NEEDED them, and I am very grateful they are done!  He plans to replace some of the railing next weekend.  Hopefully we can make it look great so that eventually all will be swell for resale ;)

School is trying to kill me.  I am avoiding our research project as we speak.  Ugh.  Thankfully it is a 3 day weekend.  I am totally going to need tomorrow to make some headway on this thing!