21 day fix.

Today I ordered the 21 Day Fix. I have been thinking about it for awhile, but I didn't make the jump because it seemed silly to spend $60 on tupperware when I can OBVIOUSLY handle portion control on my own.

Except I can't.

If I could, I wouldn't weigh MORE than I did when this year began. Last year, before our wedding, I lost 20 lbs. I kept most of it off until the holidays, but by January, I was back up 10 lbs. At the beginning of the year, I got back into working out regularly. On average, I work out 5 days a week. Consistently. Here I am sitting a good 5lbs heavier than I was on January 1. And no, it's not muscle. I mean, I guess there is a chance some of it is, but I also know I have gotten a good amount of flab back on my stomach that I had lost.

I don't care what the number on the scale is. Thankfully, I don't have an obsession with that. But I do use it as a tool to gauge where I am. Would I like it to read 110 lbs like it did the week I was married? Of course. I would also like it to read 105...haha. But if I get back down to 115 and my clothes fit better, and I don't have to pull my shirt off my fat when I sit down, I can live with that!

For the past 9 months, I have done the 30 Day Shred, T 25, HIIT, running, weights, other workout videos. I can do that. But I can't dedicate myself to not putting crap in my body.

So I ordered the 21 Day Fix because I need something more structured to follow. I am excited to give it a shot because I know I can do anything for 3 weeks. I will want to eat out. I will want starbucks. (And I think I can do that on the plan...? maybe? ...I still need to do some research, obviously.) But even if I can't, it's 3 weeks! And if I can, at least it will help to teach me some moderation.

If anyone has any good 21 day fix recipes, I would love for you to share!  ...or just any clean recipes that you love! I am always wanting to try new things at home :)

it's Fall!

The past couple of days, we have had 60 degree weather. I am a happy girl! All things fall make me smile :) With these beautiful fall temps (I am trying not to dread winter and just enjoy NOW), we have been pretty busy!

First I need to catch up on the end of Summer!

Back in July, Brenna Bug turned 1! It has been so fun watching her grow over the past year. She is sassy and so smart! I am impressed with her language development, and it is so cute seeing her sign things (like "puppy" when she sees a dog walk by!). Seriously...smarty pants.

Ms. Aidan came to visit us for a few days in August, and we had SO much fun. We hit up this place called Kokomo Joe's and played arcade games, mini golf, and her and Dan go-karted. The next day we went to the science center to see the dinosaur museum. We ended her visit with the City Museum. She was terrified of most of the slides/things to climb on, but I think we finally got her excited to start trying some stuff before we left. She really loved the fountain she could walk through!

Josh and Michele had their wedding reception and Rylan's 2nd birthday party! It was fun to spend an entire weekend with that little guy. His personality is just blossiming, and he is so hilarious!

For our anniversary back in June, Dan got me tickets to Jason Aldean, and the show was finally at the end of August. SO. MUCH. FUN. It was so freaking hot...but it was fun! Tyler Farr opened, then FGL played. We really want to go see them again! They were so active and fun to watch! Jason was great, too, obviously! Dan and I totally need another couple to go to concerts with us. He enjoys standing completely still, but I need to dance and sing, which is obviously more fun with a friend doing the same thing ;)

A couple weekends ago, I went to Aidan's first game for cheerleading. She was SO absolutely adorable, and one of the few girls that seemed to actually KNOW the cheers. Smarty pants! Plus, watching her gave me a chance to hang out with Bug!

This weekend, Dan and I had a lovely outdoor Saturday date! We headed to the Loading Dock, a restaurant on the river, for lunch and drinks. Yum! Then we hit up Eckert's to pick apples and buy the BEST apple cider ever. It was a ton of fun. There was also a hiccup. When we were leaving The Loading Dock, we were boxed in. Not sure how anyone can park behind a car that is clearly parked behind another and think that is a good place to keep their car! If we would have been in Dan's old car, I am sure he would have backed right into it to prove a point...but he has a new car, so I had to help guide him out at this ridiculous angle between the car to our right and the one parked behind him. Good thing he is a good driver. And thank goodness no one else had parked next to the asshole behind us! He got through there, and then had to back into another row of cars to then finally back out onto an "aisle" that we could drive on. It was crazy, and I was super anxious standing behind him trying to help guide him out, but he was so sweet when we were finally driving and let me know that he "couldn't do it without [me]." I think he was lying, but I appreciated it ;)

I think that pretty much sums up life as of late!

I have also enjoyed pumpkin spice lattes and sweats. This is the best time of year. :)

Weeks 1 & 2 Highlights

Hi, friends! I have officially survived my first two weeks as a school psychologist intern! To remember my first year working full-time in a school, I want to document some highlights from each week, but I am going to start with just a couple struggles, first ;)

1 -- I have to wake up between 4:45 and 5:45 depending on which school I have to go to. SO. EARLY. It's about a 40 min commute, so it makes for long mornings, but at least by the time I get there, I have had coffee, and I am ready to start the day.

2 -- The state requires that I get at least 20 days at each level of school, and since my supervisors are at a grade school and middle school, I have to get 20 days at a high school with another supervisor. Right now, we are trying to get my days done there fairly quickly so that I can focus on my cases that I am required to do for school the reset of the year at "my" schools. That means I have been running between 3 schools for the past two weeks, which isn't bad necessarily. I enjoy each school and all of the staff I have already worked with, but I am ready to get into a "regular" schedule and to feel more comfortable at "my" schools.

3 -- Anxiety. It hasn't been bad, but it's still a little scary feeling like I already have a lot more responsibility than I ever have in a school before. Thankfully, I am in a district with knowledgeable (and nice!) supervisors to help me through it all, but these are still important decisions that I am helping make about students, so I want to make sure I am doing everything right!

Now a couple highlights!

Week 1 - 

1 -- Pre-school screenings! I love itty bitty kids, and the things some of them say at screenings are HILARIOUS. Two kids (3 & 4 years old) were talking about their name tags, and the little girl says "It's my name tag! I gotta wear it so they don't kick me out!" Maybe you had to be there, but we all laughed! I think the same girl told us "I'm a little crab...that's what my parents say." ...apparently someone has been asked about being crabby ;) I wanted to take quite a few of them home with me!

2 -- ALICE training - This was good and bad...it's a training for an active shooter response, so it was hard to watch videos/hear specifics about school shootings that have occurred, but I am grateful that we had a local police officer come and help begin the training process on how we should respond, if we are in the position. In October, I believe we will do more practical training with an officer pretending to be an active shooter. It will likely be overwhelming, but I know it is important training to have.

Week 2 - 

1 -- Giving the KTEA-3 for the first time. Two years ago, when I took our cognitive assessment class, I wondered when I would feel comfortable seeing a new test, learning it on my own, and administering it without any instruction. Well, I did that yesterday, and I am proud of myself!

2 -- Observing a life skills class that had children with autism...a boy (7th grade-ish) told his teacher he got a girlfriend over the summer. She asked if he's in love, and he says "not really...she used me...she made me buy her stuff...I wasted probably like 2 weeks on her" The teacher began to respond, but he kept going on about her using him, and he says "she always wanted snickers...what a waste of $10!" The teacher asked if he was heartbroken and he said "no, not really."  It was so sweet to listen to him, and so funny (I mean, snickers!...haha). Glad he didn't let it get to him too bad ;)

Though I am enjoying "working," I am pretty happy it's a three day weekend!

Cancer Sucks

When I was at SLU, I got heavily involved with Relay For Life. With a group of about 40 college students, we planned an over-night event each year for the SLU students/community to raise money for the American Cancer Society.

Cancer has been a horrible word that I have known for a long time. When I was in 2nd grade, we had two close family friends lose their battles to cancer, and that's when I knew I hated that disease. Later in my childhood, my dad was diagnosed with skin cancer. Thankfully, it was caught early, and it was able to be removed. He has a crazy looking scar down his nose that is a constant reminder to us all that we are lucky he is here. My grandfather has had prostate cancer twice. About 2 years ago, one of my childhood friends was diagnosed with lymphoma. Thankfully they have both also beaten cancer.

Yesterday I went to a visitation for a 37 year old who lost his fight. He was my boss at my first full-time job, and I learned A LOT from him. He was extremely supportive of me going back to school, and I know he was a great reference when I applied. A lot changed for that man in the two years I was in school, and that is heartbreaking. Not only was he a great boss, he was a genuinely good person. He was a licensed clinical social worker who cared about the boys in the rehab center a lot. He volunteered each summer at a camp for kids whose lives had been affected by cancer. He was engaged to a woman who has two young kids, and from what I know, he loved those kids like they were his own. 

Life REALLY isn't fair. I am heartbroken for his family.

People should not be dying of cancer. Especially at age 37. My involvement in Relay has faltered since I graduated from SLU, but I am getting involved more fully again. It is time to end the fight. I want to live in a world with more birthdays and less cancer!

If you could send up a prayer for his family, I would really appreciate it!

no more classes!

Today was my last class for my Specialist in School Psych Degree. In December, I got my MS, but now it really feels over! Beginning in about 3.5 weeks, I will be an intern for a district just across the river. The year of supervision is the last step (minus a few tests) that I need before being licensed as a school psychologist. I am so excited and so ready for this next chapter - I will basically be working, which means no more homework! Though I am sure I will have to bring home work from time to time, I am definitely going to be gaining a lot more free time, and I am so happy about that!

As classes have ended, I thought I would summarize what I have learned over the past 2 years. Grad school is kind of crazy in that it is intense instruction in basically one area. I left undergrad feeling like I had the same knowledge as basically everyone else, and though I am far from an expert, it is kind of cool explaining things to Dan (for instance) that he has never learned. It is strange trying to remember back what what I DIDN'T know when I started this process. Here is what I think I have learned:

-I have learned a lot about typical child development (motor, language, emotional development). Along with that, I have learned what atypical development can look like.

-I have learned about different disabilities, both DSM diagnostic criteria and special ed eligibility criteria.

-I have learned about the importance of collecting data and evaluating whether instruction techniques are effective for individual students.

-I have learned skills to use in consultation with teachers.

-I have learned about Response to Intervention, and I have learned about a lot of interventions that I can implement or help teachers implement to help reduce the need for special education services.

-I have learned how to do a full evaluation and to work with a team to determine if a student meets eligibility for special education services.

-I have learned a lot about autism.

-I have learned more about our brain and the effects our physiology can have on our functioning.

-I have learned about behavior and how reinforcement and punishment can affect what people choose to do.

Plus probably a lot more. It's hard to summarize two years of school work ;)

All I know is that I know I have gained a lot of knowledge, and I can't wait to be out in the field using that knowledge!

Sarge's Funeral

On May 18th, my grandfather (paternal) passed away. We knew it was coming, but it was still hard to see my dad so upset.

I am writing this so that I can remember these details later.

Sarge, as he was known, was a retired Marine and Army Reserves man. He met my grandmother while on embassy duty in Ireland. Apparently, while on embassy duty,  you have to be single, so immediately following his time at the embassy, him and my grandmother (Cora) married in Dublin. She came back with him to the states, and they lived around the country. My father and some of his siblings were born in California. My aunt was born in one of the Carolina's. During the time their family was growing, my grandfather served three tours in Vietnam. At one point, my grandmother moved back to Ireland, while he was in Vietnam, so she could be with family with all of her children. My father actually started school in Ireland, which I think is really cool.

Anyway...the story isn't all butterflies and roses. As it did to many people, Vietnam changed my grandfather. He became an alcoholic, probably suffering from undiagnosed PTSD. My grandparents divorced, and there was a lot of familiar tension during that part of my father's life.

Fast forward to when I came around -- my grandfather lived about 45 minutes away from us, while we were growing up, but I didn't see him much. He spent a lot of his time at the bar. When we were with him, he did not frequently talk about his experiences in the war, but occasionally we would get a snippet of what he experienced while he was there.

One story that I vividly remember is a time that he was supposed to be flying in a plane, but for whatever reason, him and his buddy decided to switch jobs that day. His friend took his place riding in the plane, and the plane was shot down. I don't think my grandfather ever forgave himself for that. I also heard stories about him being attacked and stabbed multiple times before he was able to get away. But that's about all I know from his time there.

I do know that his last tour states he was in Oakinawa, but he states he wasn't...they were apparently doing something top secret. I also know he fought to be sent back for a 4th time, but they wouldn't send him. Due to medical issues, he was forced to retire from the active duty Marines before he wanted to, so he joined the Army Reserves. Many years later, he was forced to retired from the reserves for more health issues.

Sarge was a solider. That's all he knew, and that's all he ever wanted to do. He dedicated over 30 years of his life to our country, and his family suffered for it.

On June 16th, he was laid to rest at Camp Butler National Cemetery in Springfield, IL.

We had a funeral mass in Peoria, where he lived, and then the Patriot Guard, along with my daddy (a bunch of motorcycles) escorted us to Camp Butler. While there, they lined the area with flags. The ceremony was fairly short, but they honored my grandfather as he deserved to be honored. The gun salute was amazing, and they allowed us to each keep a brass from the shot. Then they folded up the flag and gave it to my father.

Though I was not close with my grandfather, I know he did the best he could given his life experiences. He deserved all the honor he received on that day. I pray he is finally at peace.

Our First Anniversary

In November, I'll have been with Dan for 10 years. We don't have a whole lotta "firsts" that happen regularly anymore, but on Sunday, we celebrated our FIRST wedding anniversary! And it was a great day!

I gave Dan his card that explained his "traditional" gift of paper was in the mail (cards against humanity). He looked at me with confusion. Typical Dan to forget ;)

(He claims he didn't...claims he didn't want to get me flowers before we went to blono b/c they would be dead when we got back...claims he didn't want to get me flowers IN blono b/c they would die on the car ride back...said he has no idea why he didn't get a card. hahaha! men.)

We started the day at mass at the church we were married in. As luck would have it, we were home, and it was pretty great to be back there thinking about how we had said our vows in the very spot 365 days ago.

Then we had some breakfast with my fam, and cut our anniversary cake! We didn't save the top layer...my cake lady said she would just make a replica, and I am glad we did it! Butterfinger flavored cake is one of the best things on the planet.

After running some errands around blono and getting our doggies from his dad's we hit the road for STL. As soon as we got back, we changed, and headed to Grafton to our favorite winery! It was a great day for it. Sitting in the shade, it felt fabulous. We had a bottle of peach wine, some dinner, and then a bottle of strawberry wine. I love sweet wine.

When the winery closed, we headed to Edwardsville to drive around our dream neighborhood. I want a new house. But then we went to Orange Leaf...b/c I obviously use ANY excuse possible for anything in the ice cream family. Dessert was delicious, and I was happy!

Once home, we broke open our first guestbook bottle! I already don't want to wait another 4 years to see the 5th anniversary one. The notes were adorable, and there were pictures drawn by friends that cracked me up. I will be putting them all together in a little book. I am so happy we did it this way. I think it made it more fun for the guests to write crazy things instead of just "congratulations" and their names!

Overall, it was a success. I love that husband of mine.

Oh...and the day later, he got me a perfect card, pretty flowers, and tickets (paper) to Jason Aldean! I think I'll keep him.

hair color.

The other day, Dan and I stopped by Ulta because I decided on a whim while we were out and about that I needed a change. I have been growing my hair out, so I am NOT interested in cutting it. It is finally long enough that curls look good, not awkward. I have been waiting for this for a YEAR! Normally, when I want a change, I chop it off...but not this time.

I have never colored my own hair from a box. Boxed color has been used on my hair, but I always have a girlfriend for assistance. I had no faith in my ability to not miss a huge chunk of hair on the back of my head, and how embarrassing would that be?!

So we are at Ulta, and I am trying to decide what brand/color to try out. I picked one up and was looking at the back where it has the "if your hair is this color, this is how your hair will look after using this" section. I like to think of my natural hair as a beautiful, light, strawberry blonde. Sometimes it needs some help in the strawberry department, though, so I chose a strawberry blonde to put in my hair. Anyway...as I am looking at the back, Dan is all, "well, your hair is this dark blonde, right? so it will look like this."

If looks could kill.

Dark blonde? Are you kidding me! That little box of hair looked UGLY. No life. No real color. I couldn't believe he said that to me! I was in the middle of throwing a fit about how ridiculously wrong he was when I pulled up my hair to SHOW him my hair was clearly more like the center, pretty color displayed. Well, that backfired. My hair blended right into the "dark blonde" category. The satisfaction on his face was sickening.

Men.

I bought the color, though, and came home and put it in, no problem! It turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself!

my natural color

post color! (excuse the crazy picture)

current TV obsessions.

School is busy. My life is the same as it always is. Lately I have been living for sneaking in hours of my favorite shows. I wanted to share some of my current obsessions, in case anyone is missing out!

First - HIMYM. ugh. so not happy with the ending. That's all I will say about that.

Big Bang Theory - ALWAYS makes me laugh. Sheldon may be one of my favorite characters of all time.

Grey's Anatomy - I will admit, like every other fan, it used to be SO MUCH BETTER, but I have been watching for so long, and I am so invested, I can't let it go. I watch every week, and I have been in love with Alex for years. I don't want to hear anything about him being a bad guy. He can't fool me. I remember the skin-to-skin care he gave that preemie. He's a softy! The drama never fails to suck me in!

Game of Thrones - b/c...obviously! I can't get enough of the twists and turns. If you haven't watched it, you really just have to give it a try. I didn't think I would get in to it, but I was sucked in. The characters are so interesting. Not to mention, it makes me HATE some of the characters. I heard myself saying "I hope her throat gets sliced next" during the last episode. Totally not my normal reaction, but I have such strong feelings about these people!

Finally, a new favorite: Silicon Valley - this comes on right after GoT, and I laugh so hard that I cry during the episodes. It's about this geeky guy that created an app/software/something or other, and he is trying to get his company going. The one-liners in this are just too great. Seriously, go watch it. You wan't regret it.

Easter 2014

This weekend Dan and I returned to good ol' BloNo for Easter with the families.

I'll let some pictures do most of the talking:

Friday we stopped by Dan's dad's house, then I headed to my friend's house to catch up and see her cute little girl.  I ended the night playing with that handsome boy on the slide!  Rylan is my brother's fiance's son, and I love that kid to pieces.  He is hilarious, cute, and so sweet!  I spent a lot of time with him this weekend, and I am so excited that he is getting more comfortable around me!

And yep, you read that right.  My brother's fiance!  Saturday morning, my baby brother proposed to his girlfriend.  Michele is a great girl, and I know they are going to be so happy together.  I am so proud of Josh for accepting Rylan as his own and being a wonderful father to him.  It is so cool to see them together.

Saturday my mom, Dan, and I went to the zoo with Lauren and the girls.  Cartwheels were done, animals were seen, and Aidan got her face painted to look like a zebra.  It was a good time, for sure!  Ms. Brenna Bug LOVED the monkeys.

Saturday night we went to dinner.  Chinese.  Yum.  And I finally got a picture of the whole gang ;)  I am one lucky aunt, that's for sure!

Saturday night also included Aidan's first motorcycle ride.  She absolutely loved it!  Bug also loved being pushed on the tricycle.  Tongue out = happy Brenna!

Some of our family from Ohio also came by on Saturday night.  They made a last minute trip to IL to see my grandfather in Peoria who is not doing well.  We stood around all evening telling stories and laughing.  I love when we get to see them!

Easter included church, lunch with Dan's nana, mom and her kids, and a few more minutes with that sweet boy.  We were playing with the windmills, and it was adorable watching him try to make them spin ;)

It was a great time, and I loved every minute of it.

Autism Awareness

Today is World Autism Awareness Day. I don't have a lot of personal experience with autism. It has not affected anyone in my family. But in my career field, school psychology, I see autism regularly. Even as a student, only being in the school 2 days a week.

Kids with autism have stolen my heart. There is so much uniqueness in the population, and there is a saying that if you know one kid with autism, you know one kid with autism. Like typically developing peers, kids with autism are all individuals. They have SO much to offer the world, and I learn from them regularly. I am also always smiling when I am around kids with autism. There is something about the way many of those students interact/experience the world that is eye-opening and funny. They always seem to put life in perspective for me by their straight-forward way of seeing the world and interacting. (again, in general, as no two people with autism are the same) I really hope that throughout my career, I can continue to interact with students with ASD so that I can help them to have better experiences in school. 

I encourage you all to try and learn more about autism today and throughout April.

our engagement story

Today marks 2 years since my now husband asked me to marry him! Dan and I had been together for 7.5 years, I think, when we got engaged. It gets hard to keep track. Anyway, I totally knew it was coming. You aren't with someone for that long and get "surprised" with a proposal.

Against my will, Dan took me to look at rings. I KNEW that if I looked, I would fall in love. I told him over and over that I would love any ring he picked out for me (within the specific guidelines I had laid out!) He didn't listen, and so we went to look together. I was right. Every ring I put on, I loved. How can you not love a huge rock on your hand in those stores with the lights that are made to make them shine?! I was telling him, "See? I told you I would love whatever you picked out." Well then the lady had one more collection to show us. I put on what is now my ring, and I didn't want to take it off. I was also right about that. 

I then proceeded to open the link to the ring on his computer. Constantly ask him if he had been back to the store. Always talk about how "perfect" it was. Then I would remind him that it was completely his fault that I was head over heels for this ring!

I also started to bug him about when we would actually get engaged. I reminded him that I needed time to plan, and that I had already decided WHEN we should get married, so I needed the ring so I could share the news. The poor guy. I can't help that he wanted to marry a control freak. I hate surprises, and I need to know the details of pretty much everything, so I can't say that any of the engagement was a surprise. I slightly regret that, but I also know that I have no self control to behave any other way, so there ya have it.

He woke me up to go to Forest Park on a Saturday morning. This is not something we normally do, so I knew it was the day! I picked out some cute clothes (because I had informed him that SOMEONE BETTER BE TAKING PICTURES OF THIS!). Off we went. At the fountain near the zoo, one of my favorite places in Forest Park, he got down on his knee and asked me to be his wife.

(Side note. He had me sit down first. So the picture isn't nearly as dramatic as I wanted. Thanks, Dan.) ;)

I couldn't tell you what he actually said. And even though I expected it, it was still a great moment. I am so lucky that he chose me to be with. Even with all my crazy. He is such a good man, and I know he loves me unconditionally.

I weigh the exact same as I did a year ago...

I keep a weight log.  Is that weird?  I started it last January because let's be real, I don't ever see changes in pictures.  The scale is not the most reliable way to gauge my success...I know that, but I also depend on it to keep me accountable.  Thankfully, I don't let the scale have TOO much power over me...at least I don't think I do.  My weight is what it is, but when I see it creeping back up, it's a reminder that I can't eat whatever the heck I want and maintain a healthy weight.

Last year, when I got married, I was down to 110lbs from 130lbs in Jan 2013.  (Remember, I am 4'10...that is a "healthy" weight for me, according to BMI charts).  I currently weigh 119lbs.  "Down" from 120.  Which means from June-Dec, I gained 10 lbs.  Which is exactly what I told myself I wouldn't do.  Since January, I have been working out consistently again, but my weight has not changed at all.  It is frustrating, but it is totally my fault.  So now it's time to call myself out!

-I cannot eat out multiple times a week.  Turns out going over your calories EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. does not allow one to lose any weight.
-I cannot eat frozen/pre-packed food ALL THE TIME.
-I cannot keep buying ice cream ... because eating a quart in a week is BAD FOR ME!
-I cannot load up my plate with all the yummy white carbs.
-I cannot have weeks where I only workout once or twice.

-I NEED to find a healthy calorie intake for someone my size and stick to it.
-I NEED to incorporate more veggies into my diet.
-I NEED to find some easy, healthy recipes that I can make quickly...and that I actually like.

Most importantly, I need to remember that my body is capable of thinning out.  That I am capable of being disciplined enough to lose the weight and be healthy.  I have done it before, I can do it again.

My friend is having a baby!

When you are 25 and married, you have an intense case of baby fever.  At least that is my current situation.  But as a graduate student, no babies are in the cards for the Cleinmarks.

Next best thing?!  One of your best friends having a baby!  Melissa and her husband are welcoming their new little one in September, and I am beyond the moon excited for them!  That little peanut is going to be so loved by so many people!

I take my role of "aunt" pretty serious ;)  I provide lots of love and fun!  

Melissa is an airforce wife, and she currently lives in South Dakota.  Poor girl.  But she is coming home in May, and we are so excited to throw her a baby shower!  I cannot wait to celebrate her!  She is going to be such a wonderful mom, and she makes for an adorable pregnant lady!

I am so happy to live vicariously through her until I can have some of my own little ones!

I HAVE AN INTERNSHIP!

The last two weeks were ridiculously stressful.  Making life-altering decisions is not easy for me, especially when you consider that I can never even decide where to go out to dinner.

I am going to run you through this, so try to bare with me.  There were 4 districts that ended up making me offers for an internship.  I interviewed with 6...so that's pretty good!  Anyways, let's call these districts A, B, C, and D.

As a reminder...districts could offer positions at any time, we could turn down positions at any time, but we were not allowed to accept a position until 3/14.

On Tuesday 3/4, district A called me first thing in the morning.  They put me on speaker phone, told me I was their top candidate, and wanted to know if I would accept the position on the 14th.  (umm...already blurring the lines there, A!)  I told them I was excited that they called, and I was interested.  After some awkward follow-ups, like, who else I am waiting to hear back from and when I will decide, I was able to get off the phone.

Later that night, I found out that I was on district D's list, but not one of their top choices.  If enough people turned them down, they would offer to me.  I was heartbroken.  I may have cried.  Multiple times that night.  It's hard when you decide somewhere is a place you REALLY want to be, and then realize it is very likely that you won't have the chance to be there.  I didn't eat dinner that night, just ice cream.  Goodness, I have healthy coping skills.

I also got an email that day from district C.  They wanted to interview me on 3/12.  Little behind in the game, but after D had crushed my soul, I figured it couldn't hurt to go up there (about 3 hours north) to see what they had to offer.  Dan and I have talked about moving back home before, so interning with this district could really give me the chance to see how things work in central IL to help me decide if it was a place I wanted to be.

On Thursday 3/6, district B made me an offer.  I love the psychs at B, so I was excited.  The phone call was pleasant, and I was happy to hear from them.  

Then, I was sick to my stomach for 5 days.  I could not decide which place to turn down.  I knew I didn't want to hold on to both offers because me turning it down would allow a classmate to get an offer.  My head and my heart wanted two different things, and it was a tough freaking choice.  On Monday 3/10, district A called me again to see if I had decided what I wanted to do next year.  I reminded them that I could not accept a position until the 14th.  The following day, they emailed district B saying that I had an "attitude" because I had so many offers and that they were tired of people picking B over A.  When I got this news, I called A to tell them I had another offer that would work better for me.  It solidified the idea that I don't want to work for a district that would act like that.

It was decided, I was going to B!  I was OK with it.  I felt relieved and happy that the decision was over.

On Wed 3/12, I went up and interviewed with district C.  Later that night, C offered me a position!  And the nausea was back.  Making decisions is hard, people!  I thought about it all night, but I finally decided to go with C.  I knew I would be happy at B, so this was tough, but I thought that with C, I would have more variety, and I would have the chance to see if living back home is something we really want to do.  I called B to decline the offer on 3/13.

This is where it gets interesting.  As I was telling all my family that I would be moving back, B called a classmate of mine and offered him the position, my classmate then called district D and turned down the offer they had for him.  District D then called me to make me an offer!

I WAS SO EXCITED.  This was my TOP choice.  This is where I wanted to be, and finally I had an offer from them!  I quickly told my entire family and all of my friends that I had lied to them.  I would be staying right where I am and interning at district D for the next school year!

So that's that.  I turned down district C, and I am happy to report that I get to stay at my current practicum site for the entire 14-15 school year!

It is such a relief that the process is over.  Even though we will have to repeat it next year for an actual job, I am happy to know that I will be at a place I enjoy all of next year, and I know I am going to learn a TON about being a school psych!

internship update

Today was a big day for internship news.  Some good.  Some not great.  During this process, we can be offered positions and turn down positions.  We cannot accept a position until March 14.  This is to "protect" us from being pressured into accepting prior to hearing all of our options.

I have had 5 interviews, and I have now heard back from 2 places.  

One place said I am not their top choice, they are offering to people ahead of me, but if they turn the position down, I may hear back and get an offer. This was really hard for me to hear.  This was a place that had a lot of things I really liked, and it was hard to hear that I wasn't a top choice for them.  I may have eaten my feelings in ice cream over it.

At least my friends tried to cheer me up.  EBP stands for "evidence based practice" ... and I can't deny it...seems to work for me.  Maybe they will call me.  Maybe they will end up making me an offer.  But right now, I am hurt and feeling bad for myself.  Ugh.  Rejection sucks.

Another place called me today to say I am a top candidate, and they want to know if I will accept, if they offer.  They are kind of blurring the lines, but it is still nice that through my resume and interview, that they wanted ME...out of quite a few candidates.  You would think it would make up for the rejection...ugh.  Not yet.

I also heard back from a place about scheduling an interview.  It is short notice, but it is a district back in my hometown, and I can't turn that down.  I am excited to hear about what they have to offer and to see if it would be a good fit for me.

Keep sending positive vibes.  At this point, I am just really hoping that on the 14th I can be HAPPY about where I will be next year.

Washington DC

It has been so long since I've written...let's see if I still remember how to do this!

Feb 17-21 I was in Washington DC for the National Association of School Psychologist annual convention.  I had a blast with some girls from my program!  I went to sessions about new IQ tests that are coming out, ways to present interventions to teachers, appropriate progress monitoring, etc.  All sorts of nerdy school psych stuff, and I loved every minute of it.  It is refreshing each year to hear about the new stuff in the field.  It gets me all sorts of excited to graduate and practice in a school!

We also had some fun on the trip!  I had been to DC over memorial day weekend my 8th grade year, but it was jam-packed and rushed, so I was excited to see the sites again, through "grown-up eyes," if you will.

The Holocaust Museum was amazing.  It is emotionally exhausting to be there, though.  I was angry reading about the history, but I am glad we went to see it -- definitely eye-opening.

We walked from a metro stop that some random lady told us was "right next to the Lincoln Monument" to the National Mall.  Turns out, it was not "right next" to it...at all, but on the way we walked past the White House and then the Washington Monument.  We finished at the Lincoln Monument, which was amazing.  All of the monuments are, but the fact that you can get right up next to Lincoln is so freaking cool.  After, I asked the nice guard to point us on the direction of the nearest metro stop..."oh, about a mile that way, up the hill."  GREAT.  We probably walked nearly 5 miles that afternoon, but it was FABULOUS.  The weather was great, and the city is so beautiful.  I loved being out and experiencing it.

White House!

Washington Monument!

A couple nights later we went on this midnight monuments tour, and I would highly recommend it!  We had an incredibly entertaining and knowledgeable tour guide that stopped at the Capital Building, the MLK and FDR monuments, the Iwo Jima Memorial, and the Lincoln/Vietnam/Korea Memorials.  It was not only beautiful to see the city by night, but I loved hearing the history behind some of the monuments!

Lincoln Memorial!

We also went to the Natural History Museum and walked around the dinosaur fossils.  My dreams were shattered when I realized they were only casts of fossils...I guess it makes sense, but I just assumed they were real!  It was still really cool, though!

The National Zoo was also on our list of things to hit up.  We went looking for the baby panda Bao Bao, but she was sleeping off her partying from the night before, so we were only able to see her on a screen.  It was still cool!  Did you know that all pandas belong to China?  If they are at any other zoo, they are on loan.  Including the baby born here.  She will go back to China when she is 4.  So crazy to me!

Almost everything we did was free.  If you have a family, I highly recommend this as a vacation spot.  There was so much to do, so many cool things to see, and so much history to learn!  I can barely wait to go back!

Selfie with a t-rex...b/c how can I not?

busy bee

Today, without question, I have a case of the Mondays.  I try not to be such a debbie downer, but WHY must Mondays be so hard?!  I have said it before, and I will say it again...I am a girl that functions so much better on a 4 day-10 hr work week schedule.  This 5 days to get my 40 hours, plus homework, is for the birds!

20 hours of my week is spent in the clinic, where I am now.  How much I have to do really varies by the day and what we have going on.  Today was a busy day.  I had a lot of paperwork to do for a new client.  Also, I spent a lot of my day scoring rating scales for my practicum eval cases.  Super glad I had the opportunity to do that while here, but man, my day has been packed full.  I didn't eat lunch until 1:30!  Totally not like me.  I have also been wanting a Cherry Pepsi all day, but I haven't had time to go get it.  Now that I have a few minutes, I am blogging instead of starting my assessment report.  Typical.  Trisha.

In other news, the internship process is in full swing!  I have interviewed at one district, and I have an interview set up at another district!  I got a call Friday to set up an interview with a district close to my home town, but I don't know that we are going to be able to work out a time that works for me to travel up there :/  I also got a call this afternoon to schedule an interview at a district down here, but the only day they currently have for interviews is a day I will be in DC for NASP.  Which is the national conference for school psychs!  They should have checked that :/  She is going to call me back IF they can find another day to do it.  Fingers crossed they can, people!

So in summary ;)  I have 4 places that are at least interested in me based off my resume/application, so that's a good sign, right?!  Hopefully I will hear back from 3 others soon!

FTF

Linking up again with the Follow Through Friday ladies!  I am loving this accountability!

Unfortunately...I gained 1.5 lbs this week.  What.  The.  Heck?!

I am basically back where I started 2014, which is VERY frustrating considering I have worked out 35 days so far this year!  Food is my downfall, people.  And I would be lying if I said seeing the scale move up made me make better food choices today.  My heart just isn't in it.  My heart is in working out.  I am happier when I am doing that regularly!  But I am also happy having some ice cream a few nights a week.  I need to focus throughout the rest of this month and find a better food balance.  Eating crap is apparently not working for me!

As far as exercise goes!  I am keeping up with it even though #jmdvdchallenge is over and the #stopandgivemethrity challenge hasn't technically started.

Fri 1/31 - REST!

Sat 2/1 - REST!

Sun 2/2 - jogged a mile and did some arms

Mon 2/3 - sprints on the treadmill and abs

Tues 2/4 - JM Kickboxing and some extra arms

Wed 2/5 - jogged a mile and a half and did a 10 min arm "sworkit" (an app...that I kind of love!)

Thurs 2/6 - walked a mile and a half on an incline and did HALF of JM 6w6p.  Believe me.  Half was ENOUGH!

I am pretty happy with how many times I stepped on the treadmill this week.  I was hoping that doing something else throughout Jan would motivate me to find some interest in running again, and so far, it is looking better!  I did take 2..YES 2! rest days after the Jillian Challenge.  They were needed, I promise!

Hope you're all following through with your health goals for the week/month/year!

I am

I love thinking about how we identify ourselves.  How we define ourselves, and the roles we see ourselves in determines so much about us.

I am a daughter - and I am so grateful for the positive impact my parents have had on my life
I am a sister - the only girl born between the two best brothers a girl could ever have
I am a wife - my newest role, and I am trying to fulfill the role as best as I can
I am an aunt - to two beautiful nieces and the sweetest boy
I am a friend - and I have the best friends that anyone could ask for!

I am a pet mom - Riley is without a doubt my "baby," as she is the first dog I have raised myself from a puppy, but I also spoil my cats, and I try to be nice to Dan's dog ;)

I am a grad student - trying to survive so that I can help kids to be successful in their own educational careers

I am proud to be these things.  I love all of these roles.