I may have just downloaded google chrome to my work computer so that I could blog. Whatev. Who still uses freaking explorer anyway?!
Yep - I am at "work." aka, I am sitting at a desk in the psychology department Attention and Behavior Clinic waiting for these people to CALL ME BACK! Apparently our clients think I am leaving voice mails just for the fun of it. But that's ok...whatever...it's cool.
I just started this gig last week. It's my graduate assistantship, meaning that along with a tiny monthly paycheck, sitting in here for 20 hours a week gets me free tuition! "Sitting in here" will turn into actual work in a few weeks, but for now, I will take it!
Yesterday, in my psychology consultation class, we were discussing behavioral interventions for kiddos that are having difficulties in a classroom. I am such a nerd-bird. I was eating it up! (I was also happy thinking about how I dodged a bullet -- I used to want to teach, but uh...nothankyou!) Totally more comfortable being the professional giving recommendations on how to manage problem behavior instead of being in the trenches, so to speak.
One intervention/assessment really stuck out to me. Put simply, it is a way to measure whether a student just "won't do" a behavior/academic task, or if the student "can't do" it, meaning they currently lack the skills. Whether they can't do or won't do helps determine the most effective intervention.
Well, long story short (ha.) it resonated with me. Kids aren't the only ones that have behaviors/things they need to change, so it got me thinking...are there things that I feel like I "can't do," but really it's just more of a "won't do?" If I am being honest, I bet the answer is "uh..duh!" and I bet it is typically a "won't do."
-our master's research project that I just "can't" get rolling on -- yes I can! I just "won't" do it!
-eating more healthy options/maybe even eating clean -- I may feel like it is impossible, or too expensive, or too gross... but I "can" do it, if I made the decision to and worked really hard at it.
-being crafty - I see so many things on pinterest or that friends have done, and I'm all "wow...I definitely can't do that." -- Jeez, Trisha, yes you can, you just do want to / aren't willing to put in the time
-cooking elaborate recipes-- I have this habit of getting to the end (ok - sometimes the middle) of a recipe and saying, "ummm...that is NOT going to happen! I can't do all of that." -- you guys know where I am going with this.
It is an interesting concept for me. There are so many things that I just don't feel motivated to do, and sometimes that's alright. I will never mow the lawn. Could I? Probably. But I "won't" do it. And I am OK with that... But when there is something I/you want to see change, and it seems difficult or impossible, maybe it's worth really thinking about whether you "won"t do it" or "can't do it"...I bet you can!
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
newlywed bliss
Since Dan and I lived together for two years before getting hitched, I was slightly concerned we wouldn't get the whole "honeymoon phase" of marriage. Because...let's face it, I already know EVERY ONE of his annoying daily habits. To be fair - I chose to marry him anyway, so that should say something! But it really was a concern. Also, being a grad student, I was worried that jumping right back into every day life 2 days after the wedding wouldn't help the situation. (However, in hindsight, doing our honeymoon two months later really seemed like the perfect time!)
Still - life hasn't changed much since we said "I do," so we have been trying to do little things to keep it new. When we first started college, we would play tennis together on the weekends or when we went home for the summer, so lately, we have been going out and doing that again. It's nice to get some exercise while enjoying each other's company.
This weekend, we went to an indoor rock climbing gym. Besides a birthday party when I was about 7, neither of us had ever really done it! Together, we learned to Belay (aka tie the rope to both of us while one person climbs and the other stands on the ground to hold them), and then climbed together for the afternoon! It was so fun to do something completely new together. We can't wait to go back!
Hopefully we will be able to find a few other things that help us reconnect as a newly married couple. Not that anything is wrong...but we would love for our relationship to keep growing. Ending year 1 as a married couple more in love than on our wedding day is our ultimate goal!
Also - yesterday was apparently National Dog Day! I had no idea, but instagram and facebook always keep me in the loop! So here is my sweet Riley Roo. Always mama's companion ;)
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| two monthi-versary on the beach! picture perfect ;) |
Still - life hasn't changed much since we said "I do," so we have been trying to do little things to keep it new. When we first started college, we would play tennis together on the weekends or when we went home for the summer, so lately, we have been going out and doing that again. It's nice to get some exercise while enjoying each other's company.
This weekend, we went to an indoor rock climbing gym. Besides a birthday party when I was about 7, neither of us had ever really done it! Together, we learned to Belay (aka tie the rope to both of us while one person climbs and the other stands on the ground to hold them), and then climbed together for the afternoon! It was so fun to do something completely new together. We can't wait to go back!
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| Woo! All the way to the top! (I was so scared to just let go in order to get down!) |
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| Dan was loving it! |
Hopefully we will be able to find a few other things that help us reconnect as a newly married couple. Not that anything is wrong...but we would love for our relationship to keep growing. Ending year 1 as a married couple more in love than on our wedding day is our ultimate goal!
Also - yesterday was apparently National Dog Day! I had no idea, but instagram and facebook always keep me in the loop! So here is my sweet Riley Roo. Always mama's companion ;)
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| bedtime cuddles ;) (with the cat...what can I say) |
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Classin' up la casa de los Cleinmarks!
Dan and I have lived in this house for a little over two years. When we moved in, I had these wonderful visions / ideas. I thought for sure that our house would look like it was out of a magazine. I don't know what I was thinking. We are messy. We have WAY too much junk. We have animals. We have very little time to keep it in tip-top shape. I feel like our living room / kitchen / dining room area always has stuff in it that just doesn't belong, and I hate that! So recently, I have been working on keeping it clean - and making Dan do the same! Oh, that screwdriver you had to use? Well, I threw it into the garage, not sure where it landed. Why, you ask? BECAUSE IT DOESN'T BELONG ON MY KITCHEN ISLAND! It is a work in progress. So - along with trying to find a home for our abundance of stuff, I have been doing small things to try and make the house look more like the perfect home that I envision ;)
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| trying to add more cute decor! this is technically for fall / halloween, but I was too excited to not put it up I will be buying another vase to keep out the rest of the year :) |
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| This used to be a stack of adds/phonebooks/junk - Dan's fire-starting pile It took some convincing while in Michaels, but he finally agreed that putting the papers in this storage bin would look 100xs better. |
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| For 2 years, I dealt with this UGLY old alarm system panel on this "wall" - It took Dan 5 minutes to get it off the wall - uh...men! But then I could hang up a picture! Looks SO much better! |
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| We got these shelves for Christmas, and they have just been sitting in their box ....in my living room... But we finally got them hung up! Now I need some cute decor pieces to cover them with :) |
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| Dan had these shelves lined with liquor bottles ....like we lived in a freaking frat house. I replaced them with our "guestbook" wine bottles from the wedding! Upgrade |
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| dish soap in an olive oil dispenser - via pinterest it's a small thing, but it does look a lot better sitting on the counter! |
Nothing too fancy. I still have a lot that I want to do, but slowly I am falling in love with our home again :)
Friday, August 23, 2013
yo-yo
My goodness. "Losing weight" and "being healthy" is so much work! I mean, I guess it makes sense. If it were easy, we would all be the exact size that we want to be by sheer will. Ahhh...it's a nice dream. Unfortunately, my will is not enough to keep the pounds off.
I wish I could say that the actual weight doesn't matter, but currently it is the only way I can really keep track. Over the last 8 months, I have felt my pants fitting differently, but I haven't had to buy a smaller size. So - I keep a word document weight log. Crazy? Possibly. But it currently keeps me accountable. I weigh myself each Friday.
In January, when I got serious about losing weight for the wedding, I weighed 130lbs. I realize that doesn't sound big, but I am 4'10, people! According to BMI charts (which I know aren't perfect...but still), I was "overweight" with around a 27 BMI. 30 is obese. I was unhappy with how I looked, and I was unhealthy. Period.
It was funny because most people were all "oh, you don't have to lose weight," but by March, at around 120lbs, I started getting some compliments. "Oh wow, have you lost weight? You look great!" etc. It was nice, not going to lie, but my goal was 115 for the wedding. I'm not sure why 115, exactly, but that's what I wanted. According to BMI calculators, 115 was in the normal range, so it seemed like a good goal to start with. I got there in the middle of April, a month and a half before the wedding. Let me just say, I was shocked. The first 8 lbs took 2 MONTHS! 2 MONTHS TO LOSE 8 FREAKING LBS. That is a lb a week, and I didn't think I could keep it up. I had pretty much decided I wouldn't make it to 115, but the next 7 seemed to come off more easily.
When we got married on June 1, I was right around 110 - give or take. (And I had been that weight since the beginning of May). I didn't weigh myself for about 2 weeks around the wedding, but it was in there somewhere. At that weight, my BMI was right around 23. That's pretty good, but 25 is overweight, so I still felt like I had a way to go. Not that I wanted to LOSE a ton more weight, but at least work on building muscle and losing fat so that my BMI kept coming down. I want to be healthy! I want to fight against all the disease that is in my family. I want to have easy pregnancies and deliveries, God willing. I want to be able to run around outside with my nieces/future kids/etc. I want to feel good. I want to look good in clothes.
None of that changed after the wedding. Thankfully. I maintained (give or take a few lbs) right around 110 lbs until late July. 3 months of maintaining. That's pretty good for a gal that doesn't enjoy eating healthy or working out.
Then the honeymoon happened. Long story short. I am back up to 115. I haven't weighed this much in 4 months. My BMI is around 24. That's way too close to 25 and "overweight" for my liking. I don't want to get back up to where I started, so it is time to turn it around NOW. This week, I religiously logged in MFP again, and I lost a little over a lb. Good start. Now to keep it up. Hopefully I will get back to 110, where I feel more comfortable, soon. And then hopefully I will stay there. This yo-yoing thing is not for me.
As a related side note - I need new, delicious, healthy meal options. Grilled chicken, rice, and a green veggie is BORING, and I am OVER it. Feel free to give me some yummy ideas!
I wish I could say that the actual weight doesn't matter, but currently it is the only way I can really keep track. Over the last 8 months, I have felt my pants fitting differently, but I haven't had to buy a smaller size. So - I keep a word document weight log. Crazy? Possibly. But it currently keeps me accountable. I weigh myself each Friday.
In January, when I got serious about losing weight for the wedding, I weighed 130lbs. I realize that doesn't sound big, but I am 4'10, people! According to BMI charts (which I know aren't perfect...but still), I was "overweight" with around a 27 BMI. 30 is obese. I was unhappy with how I looked, and I was unhealthy. Period.
It was funny because most people were all "oh, you don't have to lose weight," but by March, at around 120lbs, I started getting some compliments. "Oh wow, have you lost weight? You look great!" etc. It was nice, not going to lie, but my goal was 115 for the wedding. I'm not sure why 115, exactly, but that's what I wanted. According to BMI calculators, 115 was in the normal range, so it seemed like a good goal to start with. I got there in the middle of April, a month and a half before the wedding. Let me just say, I was shocked. The first 8 lbs took 2 MONTHS! 2 MONTHS TO LOSE 8 FREAKING LBS. That is a lb a week, and I didn't think I could keep it up. I had pretty much decided I wouldn't make it to 115, but the next 7 seemed to come off more easily.
When we got married on June 1, I was right around 110 - give or take. (And I had been that weight since the beginning of May). I didn't weigh myself for about 2 weeks around the wedding, but it was in there somewhere. At that weight, my BMI was right around 23. That's pretty good, but 25 is overweight, so I still felt like I had a way to go. Not that I wanted to LOSE a ton more weight, but at least work on building muscle and losing fat so that my BMI kept coming down. I want to be healthy! I want to fight against all the disease that is in my family. I want to have easy pregnancies and deliveries, God willing. I want to be able to run around outside with my nieces/future kids/etc. I want to feel good. I want to look good in clothes.
None of that changed after the wedding. Thankfully. I maintained (give or take a few lbs) right around 110 lbs until late July. 3 months of maintaining. That's pretty good for a gal that doesn't enjoy eating healthy or working out.
Then the honeymoon happened. Long story short. I am back up to 115. I haven't weighed this much in 4 months. My BMI is around 24. That's way too close to 25 and "overweight" for my liking. I don't want to get back up to where I started, so it is time to turn it around NOW. This week, I religiously logged in MFP again, and I lost a little over a lb. Good start. Now to keep it up. Hopefully I will get back to 110, where I feel more comfortable, soon. And then hopefully I will stay there. This yo-yoing thing is not for me.
As a related side note - I need new, delicious, healthy meal options. Grilled chicken, rice, and a green veggie is BORING, and I am OVER it. Feel free to give me some yummy ideas!
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Our Honeymoon!
Year two of grad school starts tomorrow! Another year of classes, practicum, and an assistantship before I get a year-long internship and can start working for real! It is a little crazy to think that I only have a year left of classes, but it makes me a happy gal! Yesterday I updated my clipboard in preparation for an awesome semester at practicum!
So about our honeymoon! It was FABULOUS!
We headed to BloNo on Sunday to drop off the puppies at Dan's dad's house. Our flight left Bloomington on Monday afternoon, and after spending the night in the Miami airport (uh...NEVER again, thankyouverymuch!) we made it to Punta Cana on Tuesday afternoon! We had an eventful ride to our resort, the Majestic Elegance, on a charter bus. Apparently in Punta Cana, no one cares about speed limits, stop signs, no passing zones, etc. We did make it to the resort, got checked in, grabbed a drink, and had our butler show us to our room.
Our waiter, Nelson, was great. He took quite a few pictures, and was so friendly. I saw him the next day, and he remembered my name! It was sweet!
The next day, WE SWAM WITH DOLPHINS! We also snorkeled with sting rays and sharks, as well as watched sea lions practice their tricks. But most importantly, we SWAM WITH DOLPHINS! Did some kissing, waving, singing, petting, and splashing. It was a very VERY cool experience.
The following day (Saturday), involved more beach and pool hanging out. LOVE. We did go kayaking! I was super nervous because I had never kayaked, so there were some not nice words at first, but then we got the hang of it, and I enjoyed our little adventure in the ocean! After dinner, we went to a little concert, which was a lot of fun.
Sunday was another day of relaxation! We got our honeymooners sign, finally, thanks to my decent Spanish note-leaving ability! I also got a slight sunburn due to using SPF 50 instead of SPF 90. ;)
On Monday, we went horseback riding. Dan had never been, so it was great for him to get to go, especially on a beautiful beach! His horse was a little crazy! Mine was super lazy. Chocolate and I would start near the front of the pack, but we always ended up in the back. He acted like he was carrying the heaviest person, but he was sweet! We had a great time!
We spent the rest of the day sleeping in our room. We were both feeling a little sick due to the food, probably, so we needed the rest :)
Tuesday and Wednesday, we soaked up as much of the beach and pool as possible! We went on some walks, ate some good steaks, took some fun pictures, met some other honeymooners, and just generally enjoyed ourselves.
We were up on Thursday morning at 3:15 am to get to the airport by 4:20. The American Airlines people didn't start working until 5, so that was awesome... But we made all of our flights and were back in Bloomington by 5pm.
I can barely believe that we really had the chance to take such a great trip. We are so lucky, and we definitely don't take that for granted. It was a great opportunity to really enjoy quality time as husband and wife, and hopefully there will be many similar trips in the future :)
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| Mrs. C. is ready! |
We headed to BloNo on Sunday to drop off the puppies at Dan's dad's house. Our flight left Bloomington on Monday afternoon, and after spending the night in the Miami airport (uh...NEVER again, thankyouverymuch!) we made it to Punta Cana on Tuesday afternoon! We had an eventful ride to our resort, the Majestic Elegance, on a charter bus. Apparently in Punta Cana, no one cares about speed limits, stop signs, no passing zones, etc. We did make it to the resort, got checked in, grabbed a drink, and had our butler show us to our room.
After getting settled in, we went to a welcome party, dinner, and a walk on a beach. It was the perfect start to our week in paradise!
The next morning, we woke up bright and early for some beach-sitting! I found myself a chair under a tiki umbrella and made myself comfy! We saw the resort photographers with parrots and we just HAD to have our picture taken! I had never held a bird, so it was pretty cool!
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| that blue and yellow guy tried to steal my glasses! |
I then forced Dan into spending $15 on the picture. Totally worth it! We then spent the afternoon at the pool, with a wonderful swim-up bar! There was a trainee bartender that barely spoke English, and she was great! She took care of us the entire time we were there -- like this lady was grabbing our glasses before they were empty to refill them. We loved her. (Some of my favorite drinks included the Majestic, the Blue Hawaii, the Dirty Monkey, and the Banana Mama -- all frozen and delicious!) For dinner we went to the Hibachi Grill. It was OK. Not my favorite, but it was a fun experience! I have never been to Hibachi, but I enjoyed it!
After dinner, we went to the show (the only one we made it to...oops). It was the circus! It was pretty awesome!
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| at the circus with my hubby! |
The next day was pretty much the same. Beach-sitting, pool-sitting, relaxing! For dinner, we had a romantic honeymooners dinner on the beach, which was our two month-iversary, so it was perfect! The atmosphere was so great! Hearing the waves, watching the sun go down (well, kind of...seeing the sky change colors)
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| yucky seafood...that I tried, and did NOT love. |
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| kisses for the hubby! |
Our waiter, Nelson, was great. He took quite a few pictures, and was so friendly. I saw him the next day, and he remembered my name! It was sweet!
The next day, WE SWAM WITH DOLPHINS! We also snorkeled with sting rays and sharks, as well as watched sea lions practice their tricks. But most importantly, we SWAM WITH DOLPHINS! Did some kissing, waving, singing, petting, and splashing. It was a very VERY cool experience.
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| kisses for Juancho! |
The following day (Saturday), involved more beach and pool hanging out. LOVE. We did go kayaking! I was super nervous because I had never kayaked, so there were some not nice words at first, but then we got the hang of it, and I enjoyed our little adventure in the ocean! After dinner, we went to a little concert, which was a lot of fun.
Sunday was another day of relaxation! We got our honeymooners sign, finally, thanks to my decent Spanish note-leaving ability! I also got a slight sunburn due to using SPF 50 instead of SPF 90. ;)
On Monday, we went horseback riding. Dan had never been, so it was great for him to get to go, especially on a beautiful beach! His horse was a little crazy! Mine was super lazy. Chocolate and I would start near the front of the pack, but we always ended up in the back. He acted like he was carrying the heaviest person, but he was sweet! We had a great time!
We spent the rest of the day sleeping in our room. We were both feeling a little sick due to the food, probably, so we needed the rest :)
Tuesday and Wednesday, we soaked up as much of the beach and pool as possible! We went on some walks, ate some good steaks, took some fun pictures, met some other honeymooners, and just generally enjoyed ourselves.
We were up on Thursday morning at 3:15 am to get to the airport by 4:20. The American Airlines people didn't start working until 5, so that was awesome... But we made all of our flights and were back in Bloomington by 5pm.
I can barely believe that we really had the chance to take such a great trip. We are so lucky, and we definitely don't take that for granted. It was a great opportunity to really enjoy quality time as husband and wife, and hopefully there will be many similar trips in the future :)
Monday, August 12, 2013
the things we will never understand.
I was planning on doing a honeymoon recap...and I will eventually (I hate forgetting details of once-in-a-lifetime experiences, so I try to write out what I can remember to look back on some day). But today, something else is on my mind.
This isn't really my story to share, but I don't think she will mind.
I have a beautiful, strong friend that is always inspiring. She is a great mother, a loving wife, an incredibly hard worker, and has an amazing faith. For the past 10 years, I have had the pleasure of knowing and loving her, and as the years go on, I feel as though we get closer and closer. Graduating college, starting real jobs, getting married, and her having a beautiful little girl have been experiences that we have been able to talk about and go through together. I am so lucky that I have her in my life.
Before my wedding, we discussed her and her husband's plans of "not trying to not get pregnant" and seeing what happens. I was so excited for her. She is so wonderful with her one-year-old! (1 year, this Thursday! So crazy!) I knew that another baby would only be a blessing in their home, and it was hard to keep my mouth shut about their plans ;) Right before the wedding, she told me she thought she may be pregnant. I was stoked! She waited until after the wedding to let me know it was confirmed (that is her for you, always making sure she doesn't "interfere" with whatever is going on in your life). It is almost all I could talk to her about! We discussed what it would be like if she had a handsome little man! She was a bit nervous...she grew up with 3 sisters...but she knew she would figure it out. We talked nursery ideas. We talked about her daughter being an amazing big sister, and all the changes that would take place for that cute gal. There was so much to talk about! So much excitement! Another blessing to hold and love and spoil.
When she passed the first trimester, she told more friends, and she was planning this adorable announcement and amazing pictures for her daughter's first birthday. We were counting down to finding out the sex! January was a long way away, but for me, at least, it would go quickly, and we would have a new baby to love!
As I am writing this, I realize I sound crazy...ha. Obviously this was not my baby. My friend and her husband obviously did all of these things, too. Plus some. But that's one of the great things about my friend. She loves sharing experiences with others. I have never felt as though I couldn't just grab her daughter, if I wanted. I think she realizes how much I adore children, babies in particular. She is so sweet to ease my baby fever by allowing me to share in what I can.
When we returned from our honeymoon, I let her know we were back, she asked how it was. Then I saw a status she posted on facebook about needing prayers and feeling heartbroken. My heart sank. I had a horrible feeling that something had happened to the baby. We had to get back on a plane, so I convinced myself it was something else. I mean, she was 15 weeks pregnant. I am sure it was something else. Had to be. This family deserves this baby.
Well, unfortunately, my initial reaction was right. My beautiful friend had an incredibly painful (physically and mentally) spontaneous miscarriage. My heart breaks for her and her husband.
This is where I want to state - again - that I know this isn't my story. But when you care about a family as much as I care about them, I think (hope) it is natural to feel pain when they feel pain.
But here is the thing - I am/was? PISSED. At God, of course. This family is INCREDIBLY faithful. I mean seriously, it is inspiring. Explain to me WHY God would take this blessing away after only 15 weeks?! They have done nothing wrong. They don't deserve to be punished. I vowed to not say "there is a reason for everything" or "trust God's plan" when I saw her. How can you tell someone that? She must be more pissed at him than I am.
She wasn't. At least, if she was, she is able to pray through it and at least ask for peace in His plan. She said those things to me. That she believed God wanted, what her and her husband believe was their son, to be in Heaven to watch over their family. I was shocked. In a good way. Even at what I imagine is the most difficult time in her life, she is choosing to trust Him. It is truly inspiring.
So even though I have some current frustrations with God (because I can't help but feel this way when a tragedy happens), I will continue to pray for their family. That they can find peace. That blessings come their way. They deserve it.
This isn't really my story to share, but I don't think she will mind.
I have a beautiful, strong friend that is always inspiring. She is a great mother, a loving wife, an incredibly hard worker, and has an amazing faith. For the past 10 years, I have had the pleasure of knowing and loving her, and as the years go on, I feel as though we get closer and closer. Graduating college, starting real jobs, getting married, and her having a beautiful little girl have been experiences that we have been able to talk about and go through together. I am so lucky that I have her in my life.
Before my wedding, we discussed her and her husband's plans of "not trying to not get pregnant" and seeing what happens. I was so excited for her. She is so wonderful with her one-year-old! (1 year, this Thursday! So crazy!) I knew that another baby would only be a blessing in their home, and it was hard to keep my mouth shut about their plans ;) Right before the wedding, she told me she thought she may be pregnant. I was stoked! She waited until after the wedding to let me know it was confirmed (that is her for you, always making sure she doesn't "interfere" with whatever is going on in your life). It is almost all I could talk to her about! We discussed what it would be like if she had a handsome little man! She was a bit nervous...she grew up with 3 sisters...but she knew she would figure it out. We talked nursery ideas. We talked about her daughter being an amazing big sister, and all the changes that would take place for that cute gal. There was so much to talk about! So much excitement! Another blessing to hold and love and spoil.
When she passed the first trimester, she told more friends, and she was planning this adorable announcement and amazing pictures for her daughter's first birthday. We were counting down to finding out the sex! January was a long way away, but for me, at least, it would go quickly, and we would have a new baby to love!
As I am writing this, I realize I sound crazy...ha. Obviously this was not my baby. My friend and her husband obviously did all of these things, too. Plus some. But that's one of the great things about my friend. She loves sharing experiences with others. I have never felt as though I couldn't just grab her daughter, if I wanted. I think she realizes how much I adore children, babies in particular. She is so sweet to ease my baby fever by allowing me to share in what I can.
When we returned from our honeymoon, I let her know we were back, she asked how it was. Then I saw a status she posted on facebook about needing prayers and feeling heartbroken. My heart sank. I had a horrible feeling that something had happened to the baby. We had to get back on a plane, so I convinced myself it was something else. I mean, she was 15 weeks pregnant. I am sure it was something else. Had to be. This family deserves this baby.
Well, unfortunately, my initial reaction was right. My beautiful friend had an incredibly painful (physically and mentally) spontaneous miscarriage. My heart breaks for her and her husband.
This is where I want to state - again - that I know this isn't my story. But when you care about a family as much as I care about them, I think (hope) it is natural to feel pain when they feel pain.
But here is the thing - I am/was? PISSED. At God, of course. This family is INCREDIBLY faithful. I mean seriously, it is inspiring. Explain to me WHY God would take this blessing away after only 15 weeks?! They have done nothing wrong. They don't deserve to be punished. I vowed to not say "there is a reason for everything" or "trust God's plan" when I saw her. How can you tell someone that? She must be more pissed at him than I am.
She wasn't. At least, if she was, she is able to pray through it and at least ask for peace in His plan. She said those things to me. That she believed God wanted, what her and her husband believe was their son, to be in Heaven to watch over their family. I was shocked. In a good way. Even at what I imagine is the most difficult time in her life, she is choosing to trust Him. It is truly inspiring.
So even though I have some current frustrations with God (because I can't help but feel this way when a tragedy happens), I will continue to pray for their family. That they can find peace. That blessings come their way. They deserve it.
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