our engagement story

Today marks 2 years since my now husband asked me to marry him! Dan and I had been together for 7.5 years, I think, when we got engaged. It gets hard to keep track. Anyway, I totally knew it was coming. You aren't with someone for that long and get "surprised" with a proposal.

Against my will, Dan took me to look at rings. I KNEW that if I looked, I would fall in love. I told him over and over that I would love any ring he picked out for me (within the specific guidelines I had laid out!) He didn't listen, and so we went to look together. I was right. Every ring I put on, I loved. How can you not love a huge rock on your hand in those stores with the lights that are made to make them shine?! I was telling him, "See? I told you I would love whatever you picked out." Well then the lady had one more collection to show us. I put on what is now my ring, and I didn't want to take it off. I was also right about that. 

I then proceeded to open the link to the ring on his computer. Constantly ask him if he had been back to the store. Always talk about how "perfect" it was. Then I would remind him that it was completely his fault that I was head over heels for this ring!

I also started to bug him about when we would actually get engaged. I reminded him that I needed time to plan, and that I had already decided WHEN we should get married, so I needed the ring so I could share the news. The poor guy. I can't help that he wanted to marry a control freak. I hate surprises, and I need to know the details of pretty much everything, so I can't say that any of the engagement was a surprise. I slightly regret that, but I also know that I have no self control to behave any other way, so there ya have it.

He woke me up to go to Forest Park on a Saturday morning. This is not something we normally do, so I knew it was the day! I picked out some cute clothes (because I had informed him that SOMEONE BETTER BE TAKING PICTURES OF THIS!). Off we went. At the fountain near the zoo, one of my favorite places in Forest Park, he got down on his knee and asked me to be his wife.

(Side note. He had me sit down first. So the picture isn't nearly as dramatic as I wanted. Thanks, Dan.) ;)

I couldn't tell you what he actually said. And even though I expected it, it was still a great moment. I am so lucky that he chose me to be with. Even with all my crazy. He is such a good man, and I know he loves me unconditionally.

I weigh the exact same as I did a year ago...

I keep a weight log.  Is that weird?  I started it last January because let's be real, I don't ever see changes in pictures.  The scale is not the most reliable way to gauge my success...I know that, but I also depend on it to keep me accountable.  Thankfully, I don't let the scale have TOO much power over me...at least I don't think I do.  My weight is what it is, but when I see it creeping back up, it's a reminder that I can't eat whatever the heck I want and maintain a healthy weight.

Last year, when I got married, I was down to 110lbs from 130lbs in Jan 2013.  (Remember, I am 4'10...that is a "healthy" weight for me, according to BMI charts).  I currently weigh 119lbs.  "Down" from 120.  Which means from June-Dec, I gained 10 lbs.  Which is exactly what I told myself I wouldn't do.  Since January, I have been working out consistently again, but my weight has not changed at all.  It is frustrating, but it is totally my fault.  So now it's time to call myself out!

-I cannot eat out multiple times a week.  Turns out going over your calories EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. does not allow one to lose any weight.
-I cannot eat frozen/pre-packed food ALL THE TIME.
-I cannot keep buying ice cream ... because eating a quart in a week is BAD FOR ME!
-I cannot load up my plate with all the yummy white carbs.
-I cannot have weeks where I only workout once or twice.

-I NEED to find a healthy calorie intake for someone my size and stick to it.
-I NEED to incorporate more veggies into my diet.
-I NEED to find some easy, healthy recipes that I can make quickly...and that I actually like.

Most importantly, I need to remember that my body is capable of thinning out.  That I am capable of being disciplined enough to lose the weight and be healthy.  I have done it before, I can do it again.

My friend is having a baby!

When you are 25 and married, you have an intense case of baby fever.  At least that is my current situation.  But as a graduate student, no babies are in the cards for the Cleinmarks.

Next best thing?!  One of your best friends having a baby!  Melissa and her husband are welcoming their new little one in September, and I am beyond the moon excited for them!  That little peanut is going to be so loved by so many people!

I take my role of "aunt" pretty serious ;)  I provide lots of love and fun!  

Melissa is an airforce wife, and she currently lives in South Dakota.  Poor girl.  But she is coming home in May, and we are so excited to throw her a baby shower!  I cannot wait to celebrate her!  She is going to be such a wonderful mom, and she makes for an adorable pregnant lady!

I am so happy to live vicariously through her until I can have some of my own little ones!

I HAVE AN INTERNSHIP!

The last two weeks were ridiculously stressful.  Making life-altering decisions is not easy for me, especially when you consider that I can never even decide where to go out to dinner.

I am going to run you through this, so try to bare with me.  There were 4 districts that ended up making me offers for an internship.  I interviewed with 6...so that's pretty good!  Anyways, let's call these districts A, B, C, and D.

As a reminder...districts could offer positions at any time, we could turn down positions at any time, but we were not allowed to accept a position until 3/14.

On Tuesday 3/4, district A called me first thing in the morning.  They put me on speaker phone, told me I was their top candidate, and wanted to know if I would accept the position on the 14th.  (umm...already blurring the lines there, A!)  I told them I was excited that they called, and I was interested.  After some awkward follow-ups, like, who else I am waiting to hear back from and when I will decide, I was able to get off the phone.

Later that night, I found out that I was on district D's list, but not one of their top choices.  If enough people turned them down, they would offer to me.  I was heartbroken.  I may have cried.  Multiple times that night.  It's hard when you decide somewhere is a place you REALLY want to be, and then realize it is very likely that you won't have the chance to be there.  I didn't eat dinner that night, just ice cream.  Goodness, I have healthy coping skills.

I also got an email that day from district C.  They wanted to interview me on 3/12.  Little behind in the game, but after D had crushed my soul, I figured it couldn't hurt to go up there (about 3 hours north) to see what they had to offer.  Dan and I have talked about moving back home before, so interning with this district could really give me the chance to see how things work in central IL to help me decide if it was a place I wanted to be.

On Thursday 3/6, district B made me an offer.  I love the psychs at B, so I was excited.  The phone call was pleasant, and I was happy to hear from them.  

Then, I was sick to my stomach for 5 days.  I could not decide which place to turn down.  I knew I didn't want to hold on to both offers because me turning it down would allow a classmate to get an offer.  My head and my heart wanted two different things, and it was a tough freaking choice.  On Monday 3/10, district A called me again to see if I had decided what I wanted to do next year.  I reminded them that I could not accept a position until the 14th.  The following day, they emailed district B saying that I had an "attitude" because I had so many offers and that they were tired of people picking B over A.  When I got this news, I called A to tell them I had another offer that would work better for me.  It solidified the idea that I don't want to work for a district that would act like that.

It was decided, I was going to B!  I was OK with it.  I felt relieved and happy that the decision was over.

On Wed 3/12, I went up and interviewed with district C.  Later that night, C offered me a position!  And the nausea was back.  Making decisions is hard, people!  I thought about it all night, but I finally decided to go with C.  I knew I would be happy at B, so this was tough, but I thought that with C, I would have more variety, and I would have the chance to see if living back home is something we really want to do.  I called B to decline the offer on 3/13.

This is where it gets interesting.  As I was telling all my family that I would be moving back, B called a classmate of mine and offered him the position, my classmate then called district D and turned down the offer they had for him.  District D then called me to make me an offer!

I WAS SO EXCITED.  This was my TOP choice.  This is where I wanted to be, and finally I had an offer from them!  I quickly told my entire family and all of my friends that I had lied to them.  I would be staying right where I am and interning at district D for the next school year!

So that's that.  I turned down district C, and I am happy to report that I get to stay at my current practicum site for the entire 14-15 school year!

It is such a relief that the process is over.  Even though we will have to repeat it next year for an actual job, I am happy to know that I will be at a place I enjoy all of next year, and I know I am going to learn a TON about being a school psych!

internship update

Today was a big day for internship news.  Some good.  Some not great.  During this process, we can be offered positions and turn down positions.  We cannot accept a position until March 14.  This is to "protect" us from being pressured into accepting prior to hearing all of our options.

I have had 5 interviews, and I have now heard back from 2 places.  

One place said I am not their top choice, they are offering to people ahead of me, but if they turn the position down, I may hear back and get an offer. This was really hard for me to hear.  This was a place that had a lot of things I really liked, and it was hard to hear that I wasn't a top choice for them.  I may have eaten my feelings in ice cream over it.

At least my friends tried to cheer me up.  EBP stands for "evidence based practice" ... and I can't deny it...seems to work for me.  Maybe they will call me.  Maybe they will end up making me an offer.  But right now, I am hurt and feeling bad for myself.  Ugh.  Rejection sucks.

Another place called me today to say I am a top candidate, and they want to know if I will accept, if they offer.  They are kind of blurring the lines, but it is still nice that through my resume and interview, that they wanted ME...out of quite a few candidates.  You would think it would make up for the rejection...ugh.  Not yet.

I also heard back from a place about scheduling an interview.  It is short notice, but it is a district back in my hometown, and I can't turn that down.  I am excited to hear about what they have to offer and to see if it would be a good fit for me.

Keep sending positive vibes.  At this point, I am just really hoping that on the 14th I can be HAPPY about where I will be next year.

Washington DC

It has been so long since I've written...let's see if I still remember how to do this!

Feb 17-21 I was in Washington DC for the National Association of School Psychologist annual convention.  I had a blast with some girls from my program!  I went to sessions about new IQ tests that are coming out, ways to present interventions to teachers, appropriate progress monitoring, etc.  All sorts of nerdy school psych stuff, and I loved every minute of it.  It is refreshing each year to hear about the new stuff in the field.  It gets me all sorts of excited to graduate and practice in a school!

We also had some fun on the trip!  I had been to DC over memorial day weekend my 8th grade year, but it was jam-packed and rushed, so I was excited to see the sites again, through "grown-up eyes," if you will.

The Holocaust Museum was amazing.  It is emotionally exhausting to be there, though.  I was angry reading about the history, but I am glad we went to see it -- definitely eye-opening.

We walked from a metro stop that some random lady told us was "right next to the Lincoln Monument" to the National Mall.  Turns out, it was not "right next" to it...at all, but on the way we walked past the White House and then the Washington Monument.  We finished at the Lincoln Monument, which was amazing.  All of the monuments are, but the fact that you can get right up next to Lincoln is so freaking cool.  After, I asked the nice guard to point us on the direction of the nearest metro stop..."oh, about a mile that way, up the hill."  GREAT.  We probably walked nearly 5 miles that afternoon, but it was FABULOUS.  The weather was great, and the city is so beautiful.  I loved being out and experiencing it.

White House!

Washington Monument!

A couple nights later we went on this midnight monuments tour, and I would highly recommend it!  We had an incredibly entertaining and knowledgeable tour guide that stopped at the Capital Building, the MLK and FDR monuments, the Iwo Jima Memorial, and the Lincoln/Vietnam/Korea Memorials.  It was not only beautiful to see the city by night, but I loved hearing the history behind some of the monuments!

Lincoln Memorial!

We also went to the Natural History Museum and walked around the dinosaur fossils.  My dreams were shattered when I realized they were only casts of fossils...I guess it makes sense, but I just assumed they were real!  It was still really cool, though!

The National Zoo was also on our list of things to hit up.  We went looking for the baby panda Bao Bao, but she was sleeping off her partying from the night before, so we were only able to see her on a screen.  It was still cool!  Did you know that all pandas belong to China?  If they are at any other zoo, they are on loan.  Including the baby born here.  She will go back to China when she is 4.  So crazy to me!

Almost everything we did was free.  If you have a family, I highly recommend this as a vacation spot.  There was so much to do, so many cool things to see, and so much history to learn!  I can barely wait to go back!

Selfie with a t-rex...b/c how can I not?