21 day fix.

Today I ordered the 21 Day Fix. I have been thinking about it for awhile, but I didn't make the jump because it seemed silly to spend $60 on tupperware when I can OBVIOUSLY handle portion control on my own.

Except I can't.

If I could, I wouldn't weigh MORE than I did when this year began. Last year, before our wedding, I lost 20 lbs. I kept most of it off until the holidays, but by January, I was back up 10 lbs. At the beginning of the year, I got back into working out regularly. On average, I work out 5 days a week. Consistently. Here I am sitting a good 5lbs heavier than I was on January 1. And no, it's not muscle. I mean, I guess there is a chance some of it is, but I also know I have gotten a good amount of flab back on my stomach that I had lost.

I don't care what the number on the scale is. Thankfully, I don't have an obsession with that. But I do use it as a tool to gauge where I am. Would I like it to read 110 lbs like it did the week I was married? Of course. I would also like it to read 105...haha. But if I get back down to 115 and my clothes fit better, and I don't have to pull my shirt off my fat when I sit down, I can live with that!

For the past 9 months, I have done the 30 Day Shred, T 25, HIIT, running, weights, other workout videos. I can do that. But I can't dedicate myself to not putting crap in my body.

So I ordered the 21 Day Fix because I need something more structured to follow. I am excited to give it a shot because I know I can do anything for 3 weeks. I will want to eat out. I will want starbucks. (And I think I can do that on the plan...? maybe? ...I still need to do some research, obviously.) But even if I can't, it's 3 weeks! And if I can, at least it will help to teach me some moderation.

If anyone has any good 21 day fix recipes, I would love for you to share!  ...or just any clean recipes that you love! I am always wanting to try new things at home :)

it's Fall!

The past couple of days, we have had 60 degree weather. I am a happy girl! All things fall make me smile :) With these beautiful fall temps (I am trying not to dread winter and just enjoy NOW), we have been pretty busy!

First I need to catch up on the end of Summer!

Back in July, Brenna Bug turned 1! It has been so fun watching her grow over the past year. She is sassy and so smart! I am impressed with her language development, and it is so cute seeing her sign things (like "puppy" when she sees a dog walk by!). Seriously...smarty pants.

Ms. Aidan came to visit us for a few days in August, and we had SO much fun. We hit up this place called Kokomo Joe's and played arcade games, mini golf, and her and Dan go-karted. The next day we went to the science center to see the dinosaur museum. We ended her visit with the City Museum. She was terrified of most of the slides/things to climb on, but I think we finally got her excited to start trying some stuff before we left. She really loved the fountain she could walk through!

Josh and Michele had their wedding reception and Rylan's 2nd birthday party! It was fun to spend an entire weekend with that little guy. His personality is just blossiming, and he is so hilarious!

For our anniversary back in June, Dan got me tickets to Jason Aldean, and the show was finally at the end of August. SO. MUCH. FUN. It was so freaking hot...but it was fun! Tyler Farr opened, then FGL played. We really want to go see them again! They were so active and fun to watch! Jason was great, too, obviously! Dan and I totally need another couple to go to concerts with us. He enjoys standing completely still, but I need to dance and sing, which is obviously more fun with a friend doing the same thing ;)

A couple weekends ago, I went to Aidan's first game for cheerleading. She was SO absolutely adorable, and one of the few girls that seemed to actually KNOW the cheers. Smarty pants! Plus, watching her gave me a chance to hang out with Bug!

This weekend, Dan and I had a lovely outdoor Saturday date! We headed to the Loading Dock, a restaurant on the river, for lunch and drinks. Yum! Then we hit up Eckert's to pick apples and buy the BEST apple cider ever. It was a ton of fun. There was also a hiccup. When we were leaving The Loading Dock, we were boxed in. Not sure how anyone can park behind a car that is clearly parked behind another and think that is a good place to keep their car! If we would have been in Dan's old car, I am sure he would have backed right into it to prove a point...but he has a new car, so I had to help guide him out at this ridiculous angle between the car to our right and the one parked behind him. Good thing he is a good driver. And thank goodness no one else had parked next to the asshole behind us! He got through there, and then had to back into another row of cars to then finally back out onto an "aisle" that we could drive on. It was crazy, and I was super anxious standing behind him trying to help guide him out, but he was so sweet when we were finally driving and let me know that he "couldn't do it without [me]." I think he was lying, but I appreciated it ;)

I think that pretty much sums up life as of late!

I have also enjoyed pumpkin spice lattes and sweats. This is the best time of year. :)

Weeks 1 & 2 Highlights

Hi, friends! I have officially survived my first two weeks as a school psychologist intern! To remember my first year working full-time in a school, I want to document some highlights from each week, but I am going to start with just a couple struggles, first ;)

1 -- I have to wake up between 4:45 and 5:45 depending on which school I have to go to. SO. EARLY. It's about a 40 min commute, so it makes for long mornings, but at least by the time I get there, I have had coffee, and I am ready to start the day.

2 -- The state requires that I get at least 20 days at each level of school, and since my supervisors are at a grade school and middle school, I have to get 20 days at a high school with another supervisor. Right now, we are trying to get my days done there fairly quickly so that I can focus on my cases that I am required to do for school the reset of the year at "my" schools. That means I have been running between 3 schools for the past two weeks, which isn't bad necessarily. I enjoy each school and all of the staff I have already worked with, but I am ready to get into a "regular" schedule and to feel more comfortable at "my" schools.

3 -- Anxiety. It hasn't been bad, but it's still a little scary feeling like I already have a lot more responsibility than I ever have in a school before. Thankfully, I am in a district with knowledgeable (and nice!) supervisors to help me through it all, but these are still important decisions that I am helping make about students, so I want to make sure I am doing everything right!

Now a couple highlights!

Week 1 - 

1 -- Pre-school screenings! I love itty bitty kids, and the things some of them say at screenings are HILARIOUS. Two kids (3 & 4 years old) were talking about their name tags, and the little girl says "It's my name tag! I gotta wear it so they don't kick me out!" Maybe you had to be there, but we all laughed! I think the same girl told us "I'm a little crab...that's what my parents say." ...apparently someone has been asked about being crabby ;) I wanted to take quite a few of them home with me!

2 -- ALICE training - This was good and bad...it's a training for an active shooter response, so it was hard to watch videos/hear specifics about school shootings that have occurred, but I am grateful that we had a local police officer come and help begin the training process on how we should respond, if we are in the position. In October, I believe we will do more practical training with an officer pretending to be an active shooter. It will likely be overwhelming, but I know it is important training to have.

Week 2 - 

1 -- Giving the KTEA-3 for the first time. Two years ago, when I took our cognitive assessment class, I wondered when I would feel comfortable seeing a new test, learning it on my own, and administering it without any instruction. Well, I did that yesterday, and I am proud of myself!

2 -- Observing a life skills class that had children with autism...a boy (7th grade-ish) told his teacher he got a girlfriend over the summer. She asked if he's in love, and he says "not really...she used me...she made me buy her stuff...I wasted probably like 2 weeks on her" The teacher began to respond, but he kept going on about her using him, and he says "she always wanted snickers...what a waste of $10!" The teacher asked if he was heartbroken and he said "no, not really."  It was so sweet to listen to him, and so funny (I mean, snickers!...haha). Glad he didn't let it get to him too bad ;)

Though I am enjoying "working," I am pretty happy it's a three day weekend!

Cancer Sucks

When I was at SLU, I got heavily involved with Relay For Life. With a group of about 40 college students, we planned an over-night event each year for the SLU students/community to raise money for the American Cancer Society.

Cancer has been a horrible word that I have known for a long time. When I was in 2nd grade, we had two close family friends lose their battles to cancer, and that's when I knew I hated that disease. Later in my childhood, my dad was diagnosed with skin cancer. Thankfully, it was caught early, and it was able to be removed. He has a crazy looking scar down his nose that is a constant reminder to us all that we are lucky he is here. My grandfather has had prostate cancer twice. About 2 years ago, one of my childhood friends was diagnosed with lymphoma. Thankfully they have both also beaten cancer.

Yesterday I went to a visitation for a 37 year old who lost his fight. He was my boss at my first full-time job, and I learned A LOT from him. He was extremely supportive of me going back to school, and I know he was a great reference when I applied. A lot changed for that man in the two years I was in school, and that is heartbreaking. Not only was he a great boss, he was a genuinely good person. He was a licensed clinical social worker who cared about the boys in the rehab center a lot. He volunteered each summer at a camp for kids whose lives had been affected by cancer. He was engaged to a woman who has two young kids, and from what I know, he loved those kids like they were his own. 

Life REALLY isn't fair. I am heartbroken for his family.

People should not be dying of cancer. Especially at age 37. My involvement in Relay has faltered since I graduated from SLU, but I am getting involved more fully again. It is time to end the fight. I want to live in a world with more birthdays and less cancer!

If you could send up a prayer for his family, I would really appreciate it!

no more classes!

Today was my last class for my Specialist in School Psych Degree. In December, I got my MS, but now it really feels over! Beginning in about 3.5 weeks, I will be an intern for a district just across the river. The year of supervision is the last step (minus a few tests) that I need before being licensed as a school psychologist. I am so excited and so ready for this next chapter - I will basically be working, which means no more homework! Though I am sure I will have to bring home work from time to time, I am definitely going to be gaining a lot more free time, and I am so happy about that!

As classes have ended, I thought I would summarize what I have learned over the past 2 years. Grad school is kind of crazy in that it is intense instruction in basically one area. I left undergrad feeling like I had the same knowledge as basically everyone else, and though I am far from an expert, it is kind of cool explaining things to Dan (for instance) that he has never learned. It is strange trying to remember back what what I DIDN'T know when I started this process. Here is what I think I have learned:

-I have learned a lot about typical child development (motor, language, emotional development). Along with that, I have learned what atypical development can look like.

-I have learned about different disabilities, both DSM diagnostic criteria and special ed eligibility criteria.

-I have learned about the importance of collecting data and evaluating whether instruction techniques are effective for individual students.

-I have learned skills to use in consultation with teachers.

-I have learned about Response to Intervention, and I have learned about a lot of interventions that I can implement or help teachers implement to help reduce the need for special education services.

-I have learned how to do a full evaluation and to work with a team to determine if a student meets eligibility for special education services.

-I have learned a lot about autism.

-I have learned more about our brain and the effects our physiology can have on our functioning.

-I have learned about behavior and how reinforcement and punishment can affect what people choose to do.

Plus probably a lot more. It's hard to summarize two years of school work ;)

All I know is that I know I have gained a lot of knowledge, and I can't wait to be out in the field using that knowledge!

Sarge's Funeral

On May 18th, my grandfather (paternal) passed away. We knew it was coming, but it was still hard to see my dad so upset.

I am writing this so that I can remember these details later.

Sarge, as he was known, was a retired Marine and Army Reserves man. He met my grandmother while on embassy duty in Ireland. Apparently, while on embassy duty,  you have to be single, so immediately following his time at the embassy, him and my grandmother (Cora) married in Dublin. She came back with him to the states, and they lived around the country. My father and some of his siblings were born in California. My aunt was born in one of the Carolina's. During the time their family was growing, my grandfather served three tours in Vietnam. At one point, my grandmother moved back to Ireland, while he was in Vietnam, so she could be with family with all of her children. My father actually started school in Ireland, which I think is really cool.

Anyway...the story isn't all butterflies and roses. As it did to many people, Vietnam changed my grandfather. He became an alcoholic, probably suffering from undiagnosed PTSD. My grandparents divorced, and there was a lot of familiar tension during that part of my father's life.

Fast forward to when I came around -- my grandfather lived about 45 minutes away from us, while we were growing up, but I didn't see him much. He spent a lot of his time at the bar. When we were with him, he did not frequently talk about his experiences in the war, but occasionally we would get a snippet of what he experienced while he was there.

One story that I vividly remember is a time that he was supposed to be flying in a plane, but for whatever reason, him and his buddy decided to switch jobs that day. His friend took his place riding in the plane, and the plane was shot down. I don't think my grandfather ever forgave himself for that. I also heard stories about him being attacked and stabbed multiple times before he was able to get away. But that's about all I know from his time there.

I do know that his last tour states he was in Oakinawa, but he states he wasn't...they were apparently doing something top secret. I also know he fought to be sent back for a 4th time, but they wouldn't send him. Due to medical issues, he was forced to retire from the active duty Marines before he wanted to, so he joined the Army Reserves. Many years later, he was forced to retired from the reserves for more health issues.

Sarge was a solider. That's all he knew, and that's all he ever wanted to do. He dedicated over 30 years of his life to our country, and his family suffered for it.

On June 16th, he was laid to rest at Camp Butler National Cemetery in Springfield, IL.

We had a funeral mass in Peoria, where he lived, and then the Patriot Guard, along with my daddy (a bunch of motorcycles) escorted us to Camp Butler. While there, they lined the area with flags. The ceremony was fairly short, but they honored my grandfather as he deserved to be honored. The gun salute was amazing, and they allowed us to each keep a brass from the shot. Then they folded up the flag and gave it to my father.

Though I was not close with my grandfather, I know he did the best he could given his life experiences. He deserved all the honor he received on that day. I pray he is finally at peace.

Our First Anniversary

In November, I'll have been with Dan for 10 years. We don't have a whole lotta "firsts" that happen regularly anymore, but on Sunday, we celebrated our FIRST wedding anniversary! And it was a great day!

I gave Dan his card that explained his "traditional" gift of paper was in the mail (cards against humanity). He looked at me with confusion. Typical Dan to forget ;)

(He claims he didn't...claims he didn't want to get me flowers before we went to blono b/c they would be dead when we got back...claims he didn't want to get me flowers IN blono b/c they would die on the car ride back...said he has no idea why he didn't get a card. hahaha! men.)

We started the day at mass at the church we were married in. As luck would have it, we were home, and it was pretty great to be back there thinking about how we had said our vows in the very spot 365 days ago.

Then we had some breakfast with my fam, and cut our anniversary cake! We didn't save the top layer...my cake lady said she would just make a replica, and I am glad we did it! Butterfinger flavored cake is one of the best things on the planet.

After running some errands around blono and getting our doggies from his dad's we hit the road for STL. As soon as we got back, we changed, and headed to Grafton to our favorite winery! It was a great day for it. Sitting in the shade, it felt fabulous. We had a bottle of peach wine, some dinner, and then a bottle of strawberry wine. I love sweet wine.

When the winery closed, we headed to Edwardsville to drive around our dream neighborhood. I want a new house. But then we went to Orange Leaf...b/c I obviously use ANY excuse possible for anything in the ice cream family. Dessert was delicious, and I was happy!

Once home, we broke open our first guestbook bottle! I already don't want to wait another 4 years to see the 5th anniversary one. The notes were adorable, and there were pictures drawn by friends that cracked me up. I will be putting them all together in a little book. I am so happy we did it this way. I think it made it more fun for the guests to write crazy things instead of just "congratulations" and their names!

Overall, it was a success. I love that husband of mine.

Oh...and the day later, he got me a perfect card, pretty flowers, and tickets (paper) to Jason Aldean! I think I'll keep him.