year in review

It has been so long since I have had any updates!  School took over my life the past few months, so I didn't have a lot of free time, but I figured the last day of 2012 is a good time to summarize!

2012 has been very good to me!

-I decided to apply to grad school, got in to the only school I applied to, and have started coursework that is leading to my master's degree and specialist degree in education.  It has been overwhelming at times, but I already feel that I am learning a TON, and I can't wait for more learning experiences in 2013!

-I got engaged to my best friend, and I have started to plan/prepare for our wedding and marriage!  Some days he drives me absolutely crazy, but I cannot wait to "start our lives" together this year.  (Though, I am not convinced our daily lives will change all that much, it is still exciting to know we will officially be married!)

-Two of my best friends also became engaged!  I am enjoying hearing about their plans, and I am so lucky to be a part of their days in 2013!

-Another one of my best friends became a mother for the first time!  It is so amazing seeing her parent, not to mention the amazing love even I get to feel when I hold that beautiful girl!

-My brother became a husband, and we recently found out him and his wife are expecting a baby.  I can't wait to be an aunt again in 2013!

It has been a great year, but I am excited for all of the changes that 2013 will bring!

fall breezes :)

Well, I am officially in the full-swing of school stuff!  I have turned in a paper, done a presentation, and I have a WISC-V kit sitting in my kitchen!  WISC-V is an intelligence measure for children, and I am SO excited to learn how to give it and the many other cognitive assessments throughout the semester.  It makes it feel so real :)  I am really enjoying being in classes again and already feel like I am learning a ton.  There is something different about being a graduate student, and it is wonderful!

Even though school is in full-swing, life keeps happening, as well.  Some good, some bad.

A wonderful thing is that my older brother became a husband!  And I officially gained my first sister!  (Though Ali will be claiming the title soon, as well!)  It was really cool to see my big brother make that commitment and see their love.  I am very happy for them.  An added perk of the weekend was seeing little Miss Aidan pretty much all weekend.  Always a good time!  She is growing and changing so much.  I cannot believe she is officially a kindergartner.  Where has the time gone?!  I am so proud of the little lady she is becoming, though, and I really hope I can continue to have a close relationship with her as she gets older.

I also got to meet the most precious baby girl!  Cecelia Robson was born August 15th, and I am so lucky to be a small part of her life!  She is adorable, sweet, and cuddly.  And an added perk of hanging out with her is seeing her beautiful mama!  I can't wait to watch this girl grow!

See?!  Could she be any cuter?!  I certainly don't think so!

Unfortunately, during the same weekend full of so much love, we lost our first dog, Bella. Dan got Bella the summer before our sophomore year of college.  She was a cute American Eskimo.  Don't get me wrong, I had my moments with Bella.  She was extremely stubborn, for instance, and hated taking her pill, which she needed so she didn't pee all over herself/the house.  She would also bark at absolutely every sound, and I hated it, but she was 4.5, and we did not have any intention of saying "goodbye" to her that early in her life.  We don't know what happened, but her health went dramatically downhill, and when we took her to the emergency vet, they took her to the back room, and she began to crash.  They attempted CPR, but they were unable to bring her back.  It was a huge shock, and it was hard to leave without our fluffy white pee-machine.

I should also say how great of a dog she really was.  Bella wanted nothing more than to please me and Dan (besides taking her meds...she wouldn't go that far just to make us happy).  She was calm, and loved nothing more than getting petted/cuddled.  Our house is definitely not the same without her.

Dan, though, decided he didn't want to wait long for another dog.  I could have waited another few weeks, but he found Reese, a Border Collie / Aussie mix, and Dan fell in love.    We (including Riley and the cats) are adjusting to having such a hyper puppy in the house. He loves to play (read attack) the cats and Riley, and they are taking it like champs!  Riley is really beginning to enjoy having a constant playmate.  He is a great fit here, and we are excited to have him in our home for a long time!

Wedding plans are moving right along, as well.  My dress came in, and it was pretty awesome trying it on!  There is something different about putting your OWN wedding dress on!  Can't wait to have it altered in a few months and see the finished product :)  Dan and I have one of our two pre-marriage classes for the church on Oct 6.  We are excited to get these taken care of, and I am sure they won't hurt our relationship!  Finally, we are doing engagement pictures this weekend!  I am stoked.  I have no idea what either of us is going to wear, but I am stoked!  I am more stoked about the final product, I guess.  I can't imagine taking pictures for hours will be tons of fun in itself, but having awesome pictures to hang up/send out is awesome!  It will be great!

And finally...even though Fall doesn't officially start until Saturday, it feels like FALL!  I have the windows open, and I am loving the breeze!  So excited for all the fun fall stuff to come :)

bye, CHS...hello, SIUe

I have not been at work (CHS) since Aug 1st.  It has been pretty amazing having time off, but I had a few moments when saying "goodbye" that were slightly difficult.  The day before my "last" day (I keep using quotes b/c I am still going to work 2x a month, but it's not the same!), one of my co-workers played a prank on a client.  Each shift they get graded on their activities throughout the day.  At night, we add up the points they earned from 1st shift and give them their grade sheets and points.  Well, we have a ct that has always had nearly perfect shifts, meaning he isn't marked down for behavior.  My co-worker made a fake grade sheet that was horrible to give to the ct to play a joke.  As soon as he saw it, I heard "Trish...uh Trish...Trish...I need you."  Long story short, he freaked, but we let him know it was a joke and we all laughed about it all night.  But, it reminded me that these kids depend on me.  There were over 5 staff members there, and he wanted to talk to me about it.  Now, sometimes that could be extremely annoying. "Trish..what are we doing for Rec."  "Trish, can you take me to get my laundry?"  "Trish, can I throw my stuff away."  "Trish, can you help me with my treatment work?"  Half the time all I can think is, there are 3 other people here, why am I the only one being asked to do anything?!  But when this ct called me when he was genuinely upset, it felt good.  It's nice to know they look at me as someone who can answer their questions and help them out with things that are going on.  It helps me to know that maybe I made an impression/difference in their lives.  Also, sometimes saying "goodbye" to some clients can be difficult.  There are some that just make such an impression, but normally it's one ct at a time that is being discharged.  Having to say "bye" to quite a few good kids on the 1st was pretty hard.  I mean, I was completely over it when I got home (haha), but in the moment, giving them all my final "advice" and reminding them of all they really have to offer the world, kind of wore me out!  I am almost excited to go to work Friday, but not quite.

Since then, I have done so many awesome things!  Dan's family came down, and we hung out with them at the zoo and a Cardinals game.  It was tons of fun.  Then I went to Minneapolis to visit Dinah.  That was also wonderful!  I hadn't seen her in quite awhile, so it was great to catch up.  She is one of those friends that it doesn't matter how long it has been, we can just pick up where we left off, and I am so grateful for her.  I can't wait for her to come home for all of the wedding fun!  After MN, I went home for a long weekend.  I went to try on my wedding dress that came in!  It fit!  If I can say so myself, I looked good!  Can't wait for Dan to see it!  I also had the privilege of going with Melissa for her dress fitting.  She looked beautiful!  I can't wait for her big day, either!  THEN!  Lauren's bridal shower!  It was a lot of fun.  I am so excited for her and Justin's wedding.  She really brings out the best in him, and he truly seems to love her.  She's going to be a great addition to our family.  Plus, any excuse to hang out with my gorgeous niece is a good time for me!

Today I had orientation for school.  The last 2 days have been slightly stressful.  There was a mix up with my loan and then I was charged much more for "fees" than anyone let on, so I wasn't really prepared.  Plus, I had to order a book to have shipped in 2 days because a professor sent us an assignment.  Why that couldn't have been sent last week, I have no idea....I have been checking the bookstore website and the books haven't been posted.  It's slightly frustrating.  The only class that was posted required me to buy two textbooks.  So far, for 2 classes, I have bought 3 books for about $280.  Ouch.  At least I don't have to pay tuition!  I met another girl in my program today, and I am getting excited!  I will meet the rest on Friday!  And classes start Monday!  It's getting real!

dieting?!

I pretty much hate the term "diet," and it's probably because whenever I feel like I am "dieting," the worse I eat.  It just feels like so much pressure!  So I am really REALLY working on trying to change my thoughts / feelings about food.  I don't want to "diet" to lose weight.  I want to start eating healthy and enjoy eating healthy!  I want to be healthy!  Don't get me wrong...dropping 15 lbs sounds absolutely great, but I am not trying to stress over the scale.  So this is how I am doing it...


I eat breakfast EVERY DAY!  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, people!  (and good thing because I am ALWAYS hungry in the morning).  Breakfast changes daily, though.  Sometimes I will have a slimfast, sometimes yogurt, sometimes cereal or oatmeal.  I like switching it up so I don't get bored, and I always feel good after eating any of the above.  I feel like I am starting my day off on the right track!


A little while after breakfast, I do my workout.  My workouts also change daily so that I do not get tired of doing it.  I wish I was the person that could go run 3 miles in 90 degree weather, but I am not...at least not at this point in my life.  Instead, I have a workout video game.  Yep, you read that right.  I use the xbox kinect to "play" Your Shape Fitness Evolved, and I LOVE it. There are so many "activities" like jump rope or running, specific body part workouts for your arms, abs, back, legs, etc, and workouts that include bootcamp, boxing, yoga, and different dance classes.  All of the variety allows me to workout each day, focusing on different body parts, and never getting bored.  


Lunch and dinner get a little more tricky.  I am doing my best to incorporate more veggies and fruits while limiting all of my carbs.  (Definitely not eliminating carbs since I am such a huge fan, but I guess I can limit my intake!)  It gets challenging because I have to make my dinner before heading to work, and it's a time thing.  I have been getting better, though!  Yesterday I made a pork loin and peas for dinner.  Tonight, I plan on making a chicken breast to put in a salad!  Hopefully I can keep it up! (It's a bummer because work has free meals for me, so it is hard spending so much more on groceries (especially "healthy" groceries) to take my own.)


My biggest accomplishment is my avoiding ice cream!  Work has ice cream in the freezer, and I have ice cream at home.  I refuse to give up my ice cream because it is my absolute favorite snack, but I realize I cannot have it every night.  I have gone 3 days without any ice cream, and I am super proud of myself!


Over the past 2 weeks, I am done about 4 pounds (after having lost 5, and gained 10 earlier this year)...basically, I am back where I started in January.  I would like to lose 10-15 lbs still, so I am working hard to stay accountable and focusing on my goal!  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

one class down!

So I know you have all been on the edge of your seats waiting...I officially finished my summer class!  One class down, only 3 years and a few classes to go ;)   It is nice to have one class at SIUe done.  I am pretty happy I had a pre-req that I had to take.  Definitely good practice before the real deal...which is starting soon!  We have registration Aug 15th and 17th, and classes start the next week!  Classes will include Cognitive Assessment, Developmental, and Stats.  Plus, I will have my practicum and graduate assistantship to keep me busy ;)  My plate will definitely be full, but I am really excited to be a student again.  I am a nerd at heart, and being in grad school learning about all these things that really interest me is hopefully going to feel very rewarding!


So along the same lines, I am done with CHS (full-time) Aug 1!  That means 3 weeks (with one day already down this week)!  There is a lot changing at CHS, and I am ready to move on to other options!  I don't plan to pick up too many shifts in Aug (if any) but I am planning on picking up as many as possible once school starts.  I will definitely need the money.  Plus, part of me will miss being there.  Some days those boys really make me laugh...and having a real conversation (which can be few and far between) can be rewarding.  I can't lie...having a kid be honest and opening up about where they are and what is going on with them can feel awesome because you know if they are coming to you, odds are, they are listening a little better than they did in group!


Other things are going on, too!  In Aug, I am going home for Lauren's bridal shower!  I am really excited to celebrate my soon to be sister!  Also, I am going to try and take a quick trip up to MN to see one of the best friends I have had in my life.  It's been awhile because life keeps taking us in different directions, so I think it's time to take some control and just fly up there!  I am hoping it works out!  This weekend, Dan and I may start registering, which I am pretty excited about!  I'll be sure to tell you all about it!

procrastinator

Um.  I procrastinate.  I always have, I think, but having some time off school, I think it has worsened!  Reading for class is taking ENTIRELY too long.  My 2 page extra credit paper (yep...only 2 pages...) took me fooooorrrreeeevvvveeerrrr.  Pretty sure I could have gotten that done in 30 minutes when I was in my prime.  (haha...but really).  I have my third of four tests of the summer on Tuesday, which I am not really worried about.  Thankfully it is multiple choice and fill in the blank, and I have always been a fairly good test taker (when it comes to class exams...not standardized tests!)  What I am worried about, though, is our actual paper.  I am trying to be a suck up (because my professor is a professor in my grad program, and I would like to make a good impression) so I chose the more difficult paper option of reviewing a published psychological assessment tool.  Um.  Let me just say...reading a test manual is more complicated than I anticipated.  And I thought research journal articles were challenging.  This test is due in a week and 2 days.  I have my title page done.  No good.  No good at all.  (And I know what you're thinking...go write it now!  stop procrastinating!)  Well, my brain feels fried tonight from reading part of the manual plus a 50 page chapter in my text book.


By the way...this is all for one class.  Grad school may just be the death of me.  Hopefully I get back in the swing of things.  QUICKLY!

I suck at titles

I have been doing a horrible job updating this blog, and I have no idea what I covered in the last update, so I apologize for any repeated information!


-I started my summer class!  It isn't the most thrilling information, but it is nice getting back in the swing of things.  I officially start grad school in about 10ish weeks (?), so I am happy to be getting some practice with doing homework and studying again!  Plus, I got an A on my first test!  Good start, I'd say!


-Building off of that, I have 8 weeks left at CHS as a full-time clinician!  Lots of stuff is in the works at CHS, so I have no idea how things will be/what I will be doing when I am back to part-time, but I am ready for the transition.


-Dan and I have chosen a photographer, and we are getting our engagement pictures taken in September!  I am really REALLY excited about this because I love engagement pictures!  They are just so adorable and really show the love between the couple.  Plus, I am pretty excited about getting some new pictures of us to hang on the walls!  What is even better is that Dani and Luke have the same photographer (it's someone they work with), so they are getting their pictures done the same day and we will be able to get some all together.  I am so lucky that I get to experience all of this with my best friend!  I am even more lucky that we are the type to want to share all the fun and not fight over who should be getting the attention!  (For example -- we are sharing a veil and headpiece, our dresses are very similar, and there is a good chance our bridesmaids will be wearing the same dresses!  just different color).


-Like most girls, I have this constant struggle with my body / weight.  Since I started college, I gained 10 lbs, which I know isn't a ton, but when you're 4'10, it's obvious.  At least, I know the difference.  I have been trying to lose this weight on and off for a few years, now, and it has been a struggle.  I give up continuously.  For example, I got pretty serious at the beginning of the year, especially after I found out I would be in a wedding this summer (then I got engaged!).  I had lost 4 lbs, which for me, was a huge accomplishment!  I don't remember ever actually  noticing the scale going down.  Then I went on vacation and got lazy all of May and ALL of the weight came back.  Plus a pound.  I am pretty disappointed with myself.  I need to continue to hold myself accountable.  I am not a girl that can "diet."  I like sweets and fried food and anything else that is bad for me, and I refuse to completely give all of that up.  (There is no use in being skinny and miserable).  But!  I am willing to try and limit some of that, and I am willing to work out, so I need to stay on top of that.  No more giving up because I don't want to keep restarting this process!  Justin's wedding is in less than 3 months, and my engagement pictures are shortly after -- NO MORE EXCUSES!

moving right along!

I can't believe that May is almost over!  Time is FLYING by, and life keeps moving right along.  Dan and I spent 6 days in Las Vegas, and it was pretty great!  It was HOT, but we did a lot of fun things.  We went to Cirque du Soleil, which I highly recommend!  Also, we saw the Bellagio fountains, Mirage volcano, and many other free "shows."  If you are looking for a relaxing vacation, Las Vegas is not the place I would recommend, and I don't know that Dan and I will be one of those couples that goes back every year; however, I do want to go back from time to time!  It was lively and fun, and I enjoyed it a lot!


Next week, I start my summer class at SIUe.  I am pretty excited to ease my way back into the swing of school, but I am nervous to be working full-time and taking a class.  Suddenly my time off isn't going to be about me relaxing, and I have gotten so used to that in the past year!  I definitely need to just push through the summer so that I can step down from my full-time position.  Not that school won't be busy, but I think I am ready for a new challenge!  (always need something new to complain about, right?!)


Wedding plans have not progressed too much.  Dan and I met with msgr and Epiphany about the wedding, and we are currently supposed to be picking our readings and vows ;).  Also, while Dan's sister is in town in June, 5 out of 6 of my bridesmaids and I will head to Champaign to pick out the bridesmaids dresses!  I am pretty excited about this!  It should be a lot of fun to have all of my girls together :)  (side note - I have been watching a lot of "say yes to the dress-bridesmaids & bridezillas, and I am SO grateful that I am lucky enough to have such wonderful women standing up with me!  I can't imagine the extra stress of crappy bridesmaids!)  Along the same lines, my wonderful MoH is getting married next September, and we both found our dresses at the same shop!  AND!  We are sharing a veil and slip for our dresses.  I am so happy that we can save some costs and have some shared items.  I think it makes them more special!  So lucky to have her!

Planning, planning, planning!

Wedding planning is in full effect!  (I think!)  We decided on a date!  ahhh!  June 1, 2013 (6 years to the day that Dan and I graduated high school together!  -- still can't believe I am lucky enough to marry my high school sweetheart!)  After deciding on a day, we put our deposit down for Epiphany for the ceremony and Bone Student Center for the reception.  We are so excited that these big things are out of the way, and so far, I love our choices!  I think it will be perfect for us :)

Also - I found and purchased my dress!  It seemed kind of fast at the moment, but I know myself, and if I didn't make a decision, I would end up trying on a million dresses and being overwhelmed.  I LOVE my dress!  I am so stoked for it to come in and actually have it fit me.  It really is a shame I will only be able to wear it once ;)

We have also got some small things handled - I have ordered the gifts for my bridesmaids!  (Which I am really really excited about and I hope they love, as well!)  I ordered Aidan and Jake's gifts (cute little picture frames thanking them!)  I also ordered the bubbles for after the ceremony and our favors!  (It was a big order so that I could get free shipping! -- Any way to save some $$, I will take!)  Oh!  I bought some invitations at Michael's that were on clearance!  I ended up with 120 invites for $80...thankyouverymuch!

Now I feel like we kind of sit back and wait for awhile :)

While we wait, we are headed to LAS VEGAS!  I cannot wait to spend 6 days away from real life.  Work has been overwhelming, and life will only get more hectic when I begin my summer class.  At this point, I cannot wait to become a full-time student again!  (I have always been a nerd and liked school...but I am over working full-time where I am at, so this change couldn't have come at a more perfect time!)

I'm getting MARRIED!

On Saturday, my boyfriend of almost 7.5  years became my fiance!  My future hubby got down on one knee in Forest Park by my favorite fountain!  I am so happy that we are officially starting this chapter of our lives!  That means this blog may center a lot around wedding planning :)  don't like it?  tough stuff, cream puff!

I am so excited that I just want to do it all right away.  I know it's a marathon and not a sprint, so I am sure I will be forced to slow down eventually.  So far, I have gotten cards and ordered a small "gift" to use to ask each of my bridesmaids :)  And I am thinking of going to look at dresses with my mom, future mother in law, and MoH next time I am home!

More importantly, though, we  need to pick a date!  This is going to be the most challenging due to my future school schedule.  It is my understanding that my Spring classes will get over at the beginning of May and Summer classes begin at the end of May.  During that 2 week break, I will still have my practicum, so I won't really have any time off until the end of July prior to Fall classes beginning.  I don't think I want to wait that long, so I will have to look into details.  I can't wait to pick and know when we're getting married!

love is in the air

Growing up can be so freaking exciting sometimes!  So many wonderful things are happening to the people I care about (and it's all age appropriate because we are grown ups!)  


One of my beautiful friends was married in October, and now she is expecting her first child.  It is so great to know someone I care about so much is experiencing such a wonderful blessing.  I am so stoked to see her experience the rest of her pregnancy and become a great mother!  Plus, I need some baby loving in my life!


A few weeks ago, my best friend got engaged!  AHHHHH!  I have known her since my freshmen year of high school, and we have basically be inseparable since.  I am so freaking happy for her because I know her fiance is the perfect guy for her.  Yesterday, we went to try on bridesmaid dresses!  It's so real, and it's so exciting.  I don't think I have ever been this happy for anyone!  (except maybe my prego friend!)  Just happy all around!


And to top it off, my older brother got engaged last night!  His girlfriend / now fiance is a wonderful woman who really does bring out the best in Justin.  She is exactly what he needs.  Plus, she is absolutely wonderful with Aidan, and I couldn't ask for anything more for two people that mean so much to me.  I finally get to have a sister!


It's just so exciting when wonderful life events happen to the people who mean the most to you :)

a future career?!

I received INCREDIBLE news today!  As you know from previous updates, I decided to apply to SIUe's clinical child and school psychology program.  I received an email on Monday saying I had been selected for an interview.  It was set up for today, and I got extremely nervous.  Today I went, and it went fabulously!  The entire time, I felt very comfortable, and I could tell the professor was trying to sell SIUe to me instead of me trying to sell myself to them.  He said I had a great GPA, and he was even impressed with my GRE scores.  It felt WONDERFUL!  Before leaving, he unofficially told me that I will be getting an OFFER! to start school there in the fall.  AHHHHHHH!  I am SO excited, and so so grateful that things seem to be working out the way they should.  AHHHHH!  I am going to have my MA in Child Clinical Psych and my Ed.S in School Psychology!  I am going to have a career!  How awesome!

last minute decision

I made the decision (at the last minute) to apply to SIUe's Clinical Psych program.  It's a MA degree with an emphasis in school psychology.  Right now, I am mostly concerned about all of my paperwork making to the right place by Feb 1 (the due date), but I am keeping my fingers crossed.


I really need a change, and I have wanted to go to graduate school, so this seems like an amazing opportunity.  Unfortunately, I would have to stop being full-time at Chestnut, but if that's what's necessary, that's what I have to do.  I am super hopeful.  If this doesn't work out, there is still the option to go to UMSL or Lindenwood for a Counseling program, but I do feel as though a clinical program will give me a better education, so as I said...fingers crossed!

what AM I doing?!

I started part-time at Chestnut in February.  For me, it was a job that would hold me over until grad school because I knew I would get valuable experience that a classroom just will not provide.  Well, when the grad school thing didn't plan out, I was blessed enough to get offered a full-time position.  It's so lucky that I have a job that relates to my degree seeing as a bachelor's in psychology doesn't always get you very far.  I received an e-mail from HR that I had reached my full-time 6 month anniversary mark.  Truthfully, I am happy I have gotten that far, and I feel like I am pretty good at my job.  BUT.  Lately I have really been wondering if this is what I want to do.  I spend entirely too much of my day babysitting children.  They have to ask permission for EVERYTHING, so it's constantly "yes, you can come get a glass of water" or "yes, you can sharpen your pencil."  It just gets frustrating because this isn't necessarily what I had envisioned.  Not to mention, just about 0% of the boys there actually want our help or to learn anything from us.  Any research you read will tell you that for therapy to be beneficial, the ct has to put in work, and for the ct to put in work, they have to want to do it.  It just makes the day difficult because they don't care what we're discussing in group, and they don't really care what we say to them in primary sessions.


Speaking of primary sessions...let me discuss the insanity that has been my caseload.  My first ct was discharged after 60 days because there was no way he was going to finish the program in 90 days.  He had huge anger blow ups every other day where he would punch walls or kick things, so he spent most of his time in the hole.  I called detention to come pick him up and watched him get handcuffed.  Second ct was actually the only ct I have had to successfully complete.  (Though he has already relapsed -- hence what we're doing isn't working!)  3rd ct was there while #2 was there.  He also had anger problems and got mad so he ran from the facility roughly 4 times in two days and then had a huge outburst and went crazy, so they called his case worker to get him immediately.  I heard a few days later that the kid had run away from home and was missing.  lovely.  My 4th ct also had some anger problems, to put it mildly.  On two separate occasions, he threatened other cts and staff.  He tried to get anyone to fight him.  It really was ridiculous.  5th ct came and ran the day he got there...police never found him.  Got number 6 last Thursday.  Tonight he went to NA with another counselor and got into a fight in the van and outside...choking another kid.  Seriously?!  What am I supposed to be doing with these kids?!?!?!?!  It's getting super frustrating.   I can see why burnout happens so quickly in this field.


Moral of the story.  I need more education.  I am contemplating getting a MA in school counseling.  At least the hours will be better!