I'm getting MARRIED!

On Saturday, my boyfriend of almost 7.5  years became my fiance!  My future hubby got down on one knee in Forest Park by my favorite fountain!  I am so happy that we are officially starting this chapter of our lives!  That means this blog may center a lot around wedding planning :)  don't like it?  tough stuff, cream puff!

I am so excited that I just want to do it all right away.  I know it's a marathon and not a sprint, so I am sure I will be forced to slow down eventually.  So far, I have gotten cards and ordered a small "gift" to use to ask each of my bridesmaids :)  And I am thinking of going to look at dresses with my mom, future mother in law, and MoH next time I am home!

More importantly, though, we  need to pick a date!  This is going to be the most challenging due to my future school schedule.  It is my understanding that my Spring classes will get over at the beginning of May and Summer classes begin at the end of May.  During that 2 week break, I will still have my practicum, so I won't really have any time off until the end of July prior to Fall classes beginning.  I don't think I want to wait that long, so I will have to look into details.  I can't wait to pick and know when we're getting married!

love is in the air

Growing up can be so freaking exciting sometimes!  So many wonderful things are happening to the people I care about (and it's all age appropriate because we are grown ups!)  


One of my beautiful friends was married in October, and now she is expecting her first child.  It is so great to know someone I care about so much is experiencing such a wonderful blessing.  I am so stoked to see her experience the rest of her pregnancy and become a great mother!  Plus, I need some baby loving in my life!


A few weeks ago, my best friend got engaged!  AHHHHH!  I have known her since my freshmen year of high school, and we have basically be inseparable since.  I am so freaking happy for her because I know her fiance is the perfect guy for her.  Yesterday, we went to try on bridesmaid dresses!  It's so real, and it's so exciting.  I don't think I have ever been this happy for anyone!  (except maybe my prego friend!)  Just happy all around!


And to top it off, my older brother got engaged last night!  His girlfriend / now fiance is a wonderful woman who really does bring out the best in Justin.  She is exactly what he needs.  Plus, she is absolutely wonderful with Aidan, and I couldn't ask for anything more for two people that mean so much to me.  I finally get to have a sister!


It's just so exciting when wonderful life events happen to the people who mean the most to you :)

a future career?!

I received INCREDIBLE news today!  As you know from previous updates, I decided to apply to SIUe's clinical child and school psychology program.  I received an email on Monday saying I had been selected for an interview.  It was set up for today, and I got extremely nervous.  Today I went, and it went fabulously!  The entire time, I felt very comfortable, and I could tell the professor was trying to sell SIUe to me instead of me trying to sell myself to them.  He said I had a great GPA, and he was even impressed with my GRE scores.  It felt WONDERFUL!  Before leaving, he unofficially told me that I will be getting an OFFER! to start school there in the fall.  AHHHHHHH!  I am SO excited, and so so grateful that things seem to be working out the way they should.  AHHHHH!  I am going to have my MA in Child Clinical Psych and my Ed.S in School Psychology!  I am going to have a career!  How awesome!

last minute decision

I made the decision (at the last minute) to apply to SIUe's Clinical Psych program.  It's a MA degree with an emphasis in school psychology.  Right now, I am mostly concerned about all of my paperwork making to the right place by Feb 1 (the due date), but I am keeping my fingers crossed.


I really need a change, and I have wanted to go to graduate school, so this seems like an amazing opportunity.  Unfortunately, I would have to stop being full-time at Chestnut, but if that's what's necessary, that's what I have to do.  I am super hopeful.  If this doesn't work out, there is still the option to go to UMSL or Lindenwood for a Counseling program, but I do feel as though a clinical program will give me a better education, so as I said...fingers crossed!

what AM I doing?!

I started part-time at Chestnut in February.  For me, it was a job that would hold me over until grad school because I knew I would get valuable experience that a classroom just will not provide.  Well, when the grad school thing didn't plan out, I was blessed enough to get offered a full-time position.  It's so lucky that I have a job that relates to my degree seeing as a bachelor's in psychology doesn't always get you very far.  I received an e-mail from HR that I had reached my full-time 6 month anniversary mark.  Truthfully, I am happy I have gotten that far, and I feel like I am pretty good at my job.  BUT.  Lately I have really been wondering if this is what I want to do.  I spend entirely too much of my day babysitting children.  They have to ask permission for EVERYTHING, so it's constantly "yes, you can come get a glass of water" or "yes, you can sharpen your pencil."  It just gets frustrating because this isn't necessarily what I had envisioned.  Not to mention, just about 0% of the boys there actually want our help or to learn anything from us.  Any research you read will tell you that for therapy to be beneficial, the ct has to put in work, and for the ct to put in work, they have to want to do it.  It just makes the day difficult because they don't care what we're discussing in group, and they don't really care what we say to them in primary sessions.


Speaking of primary sessions...let me discuss the insanity that has been my caseload.  My first ct was discharged after 60 days because there was no way he was going to finish the program in 90 days.  He had huge anger blow ups every other day where he would punch walls or kick things, so he spent most of his time in the hole.  I called detention to come pick him up and watched him get handcuffed.  Second ct was actually the only ct I have had to successfully complete.  (Though he has already relapsed -- hence what we're doing isn't working!)  3rd ct was there while #2 was there.  He also had anger problems and got mad so he ran from the facility roughly 4 times in two days and then had a huge outburst and went crazy, so they called his case worker to get him immediately.  I heard a few days later that the kid had run away from home and was missing.  lovely.  My 4th ct also had some anger problems, to put it mildly.  On two separate occasions, he threatened other cts and staff.  He tried to get anyone to fight him.  It really was ridiculous.  5th ct came and ran the day he got there...police never found him.  Got number 6 last Thursday.  Tonight he went to NA with another counselor and got into a fight in the van and outside...choking another kid.  Seriously?!  What am I supposed to be doing with these kids?!?!?!?!  It's getting super frustrating.   I can see why burnout happens so quickly in this field.


Moral of the story.  I need more education.  I am contemplating getting a MA in school counseling.  At least the hours will be better! 

reflecting on 2011

The end of the year always makes me reflect.  I guess it's good that we have the chance to do it each year...it's definitely necessary.  2011 was definitely not the worst year of my life, but it doesn't stand out as the best, either, which I guess is OK.


There were some pretty low points throughout the year -- My grandmother passed away.  I realized that my dream of becoming a Clinical Psychologist was not beginning this year.  I spent half of the year thousands of miles away from my little brother.  My Sammy kitty passed away. I found out that my grandfather has cancer again.


And though all of those things were challenging, I think I came out of the year stronger because of so many wonderful blessings.  My family is closer than ever before, and I have been reminded of how strong and great my brothers are.  I witnessed people I care about start their lives together.  I grew closer with friends I have had for a long time.  I started a job with the best co-workers a girl could ask for, and it allows me to gain an insane amount of experience working with an extremely challenging population.  Dan bought a house this year, and I have been lucky enough to help him decorate and make it a home.  Riley joined my life, and even though she is a dog, she has definitely reminded me how to love.  I know there have been more blessings, but of course trying to list them all becomes extremely difficult.


Lately, I have been most grateful for my family.  I was lucky enough to go with my parents to Florida to visit Josh for Thanksgiving.  It was by far one of the most random Thanksgivings that I have had; however, I was so happy to spend that weekend with Josh.  I am so proud of the man he has become.  For Christmas, Josh was able to come home for 10 days.  It was the first time in over 6 months my entire family was able to spend time together, and it was absolutely amazing.  I am so happy that we are all able to be in the same room together and laugh and love each other.


I am hopeful 2012 will be just as good to me as 2011.  I have plans to go back to school -- most likely to a counseling program.  It is lucky that I have a job, but I am not convinced it's the job that I want for the rest of my life, so I plan to do what I can to change my circumstances because doing the same thing will get me the same results. :)  For now, all I know is that I have an amazing family, a great boyfriend, wonderful friends, and awesome pets that remind me daily how lucky I am.

23?

This past Thursday, I turned 23.  22 was such a life-changing year, and I am grateful it is over.  There were some great things that happened -- I graduated college, Dan bought a house for us to live in, I got a pretty good starting job, and I got a puppy that I love.  Plus many other things, I am sure.  There were also the negative aspects.  Most importantly, not getting into graduate school.  I say this is negative because it went against my "plan," but what do I know?  Since I didn't start grad school, I was able to move into this house with Dan and get a job that I really do enjoy.  Maybe 22 just wasn't the year for me to go to grad school...


I am excited to see what 23 will bring.


This weekend I also had the privilege of seeing a great friend get married.  It was a beautiful ceremony, and the love was radiating off both the bride and groom.  I was so honored to be there.  It's hard to believe my group of friends is getting to the age where more and more people will start tying the knot, but I guess we really are growing up and beginning our lives as adults.